It’s often said that a mother is a boy’s best friend, and for filmmaker Nathan Silver, that bond goes further—she’s also his creative inspiration.

Over the past ten years, Cindy Silver, a teacher, has featured in several films created by her son, including his 2019 docuseries titled “Cutting My Mother.” Their newest project, “Between the Temples” (currently in theaters), is a charming and humorous take on “Harold and Maude.” The film centers around a widowed cantor, Ben (played by Jason Schwartzman), and his older student, Carla (portrayed by Carol Kane), who is preparing for a bat mitzvah later in life.

The film draws inspiration from Cindy’s journey as a culturally Jewish woman. At 68, she decided to join a b’nai mitzvah class at her local temple in Kingston, New York. Although she doesn’t play a leading role in the movie, she does make a brief appearance.

Cindy, now 74, humorously reflects during a recent Zoom chat with her son, 41, saying, “They needed a real actress for this role, not just his mom.” She expresses her joy and excitement in supporting the film but adds, “I’m just happy to see my son! We don’t connect as often as I’d like.”

Cindy Silver’s Bat Mitzvah Experience: The Inspiration Behind ‘Between the Temples’

In Jewish tradition, bar and bat mitzvahs are significant rites of passage, marking a young person’s entry into the faith community. “Between the Temples” offers a unique portrayal of this event for adults, joining a select few representations in pop culture, such as episodes from “The Simpsons,” “Touched by an Angel,” and “The Dick Van Dyke Show.”

“That’s the Mount Rushmore of representations!” Nathan jokes, feeling honored to be among them.

Several factors can lead to someone having a delayed mitzvah; for instance, financial strains of hosting a grand celebration, the lack of bat mitzvahs before the 1970s, or challenges faced during the preparation stages, especially for children with learning differences. Some might feel that it doesn’t quite suit their gender identity, while others may only discover Judaism later in life. Additionally, historical oppressions, such as during the Holocaust, may have barred older generations from participating in such ceremonies.

Cindy recalls her upbringing in a secular Jewish family in Queens, New York. “We weren’t regular temple-goers—my mother was more interested in cooking veal parmesan while my kosher friends came over to eat,” she reminisces. Instead of attending religious services, they enjoyed Pete Seeger concerts. Yet, her father frequently used Yiddish expressions, which her mother found irritating, and she couldn’t stand the sing-song Jewish accent she inherited from him.

Even though her household wasn’t overtly religious, her parents instilled core Jewish values in her: “My dad would bang the table, exclaiming, ‘If you’re healthy, you have everything! Just be kind to others!’ That reflects a central Jewish teaching: tikkun olam, or ‘healing the world.’”

Similar to his mother, Nathan was raised in a non-religious environment and missed out on having a bar mitzvah. He notes, “The humor has always been the heart of my Jewish experience,” highlighting his love for shows like “Seinfeld” and films by Mel Brooks. Nonetheless, he has always been intrigued by how individuals connect with spirituality and one another.

“The essence of Judaism is that it thrives on questions. Each question invites another,” Nathan elaborates. Instead of fixating on the afterlife, Judaism encourages focusing on the present and “cherishing what’s right in front of you. That’s essential for the characters in this film; they require each other to discover who they are.”

The film unfolds into an unexpected love story.

A connection grows between Carla and Ben as they get ready for her bat mitzvah. However, this part of the film is not entirely accurate to real life. (Cindy’s husband of 55 years, Harvey, is just off-screen as she talks.) Nevertheless, she relates to the sense of community that Carla experiences at the temple.

About six years ago, following the death of a friend’s partner, Cindy recalls, “we all decided to unite and celebrate a b’nai mitzvah together.” At first, she was completely captivated by her exploration of the Jewish faith: “I attended the rabbi’s studio for meditation and Torah study, which was wonderful. It’s all about discussion and interpreting meanings, which I found fascinating about Judaism. I felt very welcomed because my rabbi accepted anyone. I thought, ‘I want to delve deeper.’”

The film resonates with individuals who opt for bar or bat mitzvahs later in life

However, over time, Cindy and her friends stepped away from the class, feeling disheartened by some of the assigned readings and memorization tasks. Similarly, Carla encounters challenges in “Between the Temples,” which is part of what has made the film resonate with audiences since its debut at the Sundance Film Festival in January. Nathan mentions he has met many older viewers on their spiritual journeys, including those who have recently celebrated their own bar or bat mitzvahs: “It’s rewarding to hear them say the film mirrored their experiences.”

Among the audience members was Rivanna Hyman, a 74-year-old from Long Island. She technically became a bat mitzvah around the age of 12 while visiting family in Israel, more as an impulse than with proper preparation or prayers. For many years, Rivanna felt she hadn’t truly earned the bat mitzvah title she had received. Consequently, at 48, after two years of study, she and ten other women celebrated their b’not mitzvah (the feminine plural).

“I completely understood Carla’s aim to reach this significant milestone,” Rivanna reflects. “I hope all viewers recognize the importance of achieving specific goals in one’s life.”

As for Nathan’s mother, she is not keen on returning to her studies for a bat mitzvah. Instead, Cindy states, “I’d prefer to continue reading and exploring independently. I’ll pursue my journey as a Jewish individual, but not through a temple because I have moved past that. Plus, my husband was reluctantly taken to services after 50 years, and he does not wish to attend anymore!”