“Cher: The Memoir, Part One” has arrived, showcasing the pop icon’s courage in revisiting her past. The memoir touches on difficult subjects, including the significant age difference between her and her late former husband, Sonny Bono.

Salvatore Bono entered Cher’s life as a supportive figure, helping her gain opportunities with Phil Spector. This led Cher to sing backup for Spector-produced ’60s classics like The Ronettes’ “Be My Baby” and The Righteous Brothers’ “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.” Despite an 11-year age difference, Cher was just a teenager at the time, and her mother even wanted Bono to face legal consequences. Nonetheless, Cher admired his uniqueness and humor, stating in a CBS Sunday Morning interview how he made her feel special and shared dreams with her.

“I wasn’t completely honest with him about my age,” she admitted. “I told him I was 18, and when someone pointed out I wasn’t, I cleverly said, ‘I’m not 18, but my birthday is next month’—which was true—and that I’d soon be 18.” Unfortunately, their relationship deteriorated as Bono became increasingly volatile and unfaithful, partly due to his struggles with valium and prescription painkillers.

The memoir’s release coincides with the revelation of a previously unknown “muse” for the late novelist Cormac McCarthy in a recent Vanity Fair article. This profile includes love letter excerpts and insights from Augusta Britt, who claims they met when she was only 16 and he was 42.

There is increasing recognition of issues related to sexual grooming and exploitation that often accompany unhealthy power dynamics. Legal and psychological experts emphasize the importance of discussing, rather than ignoring, the potential hazards stemming from significant age gaps in relationships.

“Societal standards are evolving, and we are reassessing behaviors that might have been dismissed 30, 40, or even 50 years ago,” Elizabeth Jeglic, a psychology professor at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, previously told YSL News.

“We are now understanding that teenagers do not think or see the world in the same way that adults do until their early to mid-20s. In relationships between older adults and teens, there’s often a substantial power imbalance, which complicates the issue of genuine consent.”

Consent in Adolescents: The Gray Areas

It’s widely acknowledged that ambiguities often cloud relationships involving teenagers and consent.

Adolescents struggle with making logical, informed choices due to various influences: their inexperience, susceptibility to peer pressure, and immature brain development. Extensive neuroscience research indicates that adolescents prioritize immediate rewards over long-term repercussions, making them more inclined to risky behaviors.

Moreover, many teenagers confuse confidence with capability. They might feel emboldened to engage in a relationship with an adult, yet their proficiency in assessing risks, or understanding their readiness for deeper or sexual involvement, remains underdeveloped, according to Melanie Schilling, a confidence coach and former psychologist with a focus on relationships.

“They might agree to engage, but the true meaning of their consent isn’t fully formed … their psychological readiness for a genuine and informed consent is still lacking,” Schilling explains.

‘Education on Consent: A Call to Adults’

Experts agree that while individual maturity varies, most teenagers are not equipped—either emotionally or cognitively—to fully grasp the complexities of sexual relationships with older adults.

“Adults often assume that if a teenager appears mature, they are mature,” says Jennifer Drobac, professor emerita at the Indiana University McKinney School of Law and an expert in sexual harassment law.

However, research indicates that brain development continues into one’s 20s; particularly, studies show that the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and assessing risks, matures around age 25. In today’s post-MeToo environment, active discussions around consent are becoming more prevalent.

Drobac insists that the responsibility to denounce inappropriate relationships should lie with adults, not teenagers.

“We tell children to just say no; it’s time we start advising adults to do the same.”