LA fire survivors face survivor’s guilt: ‘I can’t allow myself to feel joy’
LOS ANGELES – Shortly after evacuating from Pacific Palisades, Maria Alden recounted watching a TV report about the recent wildfires.
“They focused in on a house, and I thought, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s my house,’” Alden, 67, shared with YSL News.
Her three-story home was the only one left standing on her street, and it became part of a striking occurrence during the catastrophic fires that destroyed more than 12,000 buildings across Los Angeles: individual homes that survived while nearby properties were reduced to ash.
“I’m struggling with this survivor’s guilt, honestly,” Alden admitted, having evacuated on January 7 along with thousands of other residents. “I can’t even let myself be happy.”
Similarly, Lynn McIntyre found her home as the sole survivor on her block located about half a mile from Alden’s. She expressed her concern, saying, “You don’t want to be that one person. I worry about how people will react.”
To provide support, a chat group has been established for homeowners like Alden and McIntyre, according to Maryl Georgi, whose home is nestled in a charred neighborhood about 1.5 miles from McIntyre’s.
Georgi, a 57-year-old interior designer, described her emotional reaction upon discovering her house had survived the devastation. “I fell to my knees and cried,” she said.
“How do you reconcile that?” Georgi pondered. “You feel immense relief and gratitude while witnessing the devastation of someone you care about.”
“To navigate this, homeowners with undamaged properties are communicating to find ways to support those who have lost everything.”
Finding answers is difficult
The standing homes amidst the destruction raise a pressing question.
Why?
Why did certain homes remain intact while many around them burned?
Los Angeles Fire Captain Jeff Brown contemplated this inquiry outside Fire Station No. 69 in Pacific Palisades.
Noteworthy factors include stucco roofs and the absence of exposed wood.
Brown also mentioned that, in some cases, having a fire engine present made the difference for a single home.
Fire Captain Brett Klemme added that wind patterns protected some houses when the flames were blown in other directions.
McIntyre, who lives with her 29-year-old daughter, attributed their home’s survival to “divine intervention” and the use of Pellegrino water.
“A friend talked his way into the Palisades on Wednesday and saw the house behind mine go up in flames while my house remained untouched,” she recounted.
However, a utility pole in her backyard was on fire, threatening to spread.
“The only thing he could find was Pellegrino water, which he used to extinguish the flames.”
Georgi speculated that her slate roof may have contributed to her home’s survival, along with watering the lawn and spraying down the property before leaving with her partner and one of her two adult sons.
Alden noted that her house is made of concrete, but conceded, “It’s largely a matter of luck.”
Although their homes are safe, they face many hurdles
Having homes that survived doesn’t mean the owners are free from difficulties.
“I have no water, electricity, or gas,” McIntyre shared.
Moreover, she cannot access her house.
Officials have not provided a timeline for when residents will be able to return to their homes.
Alden mentioned that a FEMA representative told her it may take 16 to 18 months to clean the affected areas. For now, Alden is staying with her partner in Santa Monica.
McIntyre said she and her daughter are currently in a hotel. During a Thursday interview with YSL News, she shared that she was at Target shopping for clothes. She remains uncertain about reimbursement and many other aspects of their situation.
“I don’t know if I’m getting that back,” she stated. “I don’t know what my insurance covers. I have no answers.”
Alden expressed frustration with her insurance company, which suggested she might not meet her $28,000 deductible simply because her house was still standing.
“I told them they don’t understand,” Alden expressed. “This place looks like a war zone. How can they put me back in my home with all that debris to breathe in?”
Georgi, on the other hand, shone with joy momentarily when discussing a positive note:
When she evacuated with her partner and one of her grown sons, her two chickens were still safe at her house.
“And they’re alive,” she exclaimed. “It’s incredible that they made it!”