The date was set to begin in just 10 minutes when he unmatched her.

A woman recently recounted this experience in a TikTok video that has since garnered 1.7 million views as of Tuesday. While she was on her way to meet a man from the dating app Hinge, he abruptly cut off their conversation. This left her feeling dejected at a New York City subway station, prompting her to turn to social media to share her story. “This happens way too often,” commented one user, with others chiming in: “I experienced this once while waiting on the steps of the venue.” “It’s really tough out there.”

Dating can often feel like a turbulent journey. However, the secret to maintaining a healthy, lasting relationship is to accept the ups and downs, stay composed during the ride, and keep perspective. When you’re with the right person, it should feel like a smooth descent.

“If someone disappears on you after just a brief chat on an app, they’re probably doing you a favor,” states Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” who also hosts a podcast. “They’re revealing early on that they may not have the emotional maturity required for a healthy long-term relationship that depends on clear communication.”

‘No rules of engagement’

“The world of dating comes with its pitfalls,” explains Luis Cornejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You’re dealing with your feelings, as well as someone else’s expectations, communication practices, and readiness for a relationship.”

Issues like unmatching can, regrettably, become a routine part of modern dating. “There are generally no established rules for engagement,” notes Kevin Chapman, director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. “As a result, individuals feel their sense of fairness has been breached.”

Rapid swiping can also lead to unhealthy comparisons and unrealistic expectations about dating, according to Chase Cassine, a licensed clinical social worker.

It’s simple to ghost someone, making it easy to ignore the fact that there’s a person at the other end of the conversation. But just because it’s an easy action doesn’t lessen its impact. “Her feelings of confusion over the sudden silence in their conversation make complete sense,” Morin states. “She was left wondering if she deleted it accidentally or if he truly ghosted her.”

Moreover, “rejection can bring up negative emotions like inadequacy, disappointment, and self-doubt that can cloud our self-perception,” adds Cassine.

‘Is this crossing the line?’

Sharing feelings of rejection on social media has become a modern method for reclaiming power after such vulnerable moments.

“Instead of feeling ashamed about being stood up for her date, she takes control of the situation, invites the audience into her experience, and then publicly calls out the date by sharing his identifying information,” remarks Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary’s University in Canada. “This brings us to question – is this acceptable? Is it crossing a boundary?”

We can only speculate that “there might be numerous reasons for his sudden disappearance,” says Morin. “It could range from being in a relationship and his partner finding out to panicking due to social anxiety.”

‘A chance to learn about yourself’

So, how should you approach situations like this?

If you’re not interested in dating someone, be honest and straightforward rather than leading them on. “Having a sincere conversation where you reject someone takes bravery, but it’s the most compassionate course of action,” Morin advises. “It spares the other person from having to speculate about what went wrong, saving them from unnecessary mental stress.”

And if someone unmatches you or ghosts you, take a moment for introspection. Cornejo suggests asking yourself: Did this match my values? What did I learn about what I desire – or don’t want – in a relationship? You may not always avoid disappointment, but setting boundaries and prioritizing your emotional energy can help you recover when things don’t go as expected.

Ultimately, you have “an opportunity to learn about yourself, grow, and engage in meaningful connections when the right person arrives.”