‘Scared everywhere’: Apalachee survivors grapple with the repercussions of a school shooting
WINDER, Ga. − After the vigil concluded, with candles extinguished and the media having departed from Apalachee High School’s football stadium, Kayden Ballew felt stuck.
A heavy sense of grief lingered in the air. The school had become a crime scene.
“I feel trapped terrified everywhere I go now,” said the 16-year-old sophomore in front of the bleachers following the vigil. “It’s overwhelming to deal with.”
Students who narrowly escaped last week’s tragic shooting at Apalachee High are finding it tough to come to terms with the loss of two peers and two teachers during the incident. Fourteen-year-old Colt Gray is being tried as an adult and faces four murder charges. His father, Colin Gray, is also charged with murder, involuntary manslaughter, and cruelty to children for permitting his son access to the AR-14-style rifle involved in the attack.
This event was recorded as the 139th shooting incident in schools this year, according to advocates for gun control, Everytown for Gun Safety.
For the students of Apalachee, daily life has become a challenge.
Ballew shared that she had a close bond with Ricky Aspinwall, the 39-year-old math teacher and football coach who lost his life in the shooting. Learning of his death left her “in shock” and was “traumatizing,” she recalled. Along with Aspinwall, the shooting took the lives of students Mason Schermerhorn and Christian Angulo, both aged 14, and math teacher Cristina Irimie, 53. Additionally, eight students and a teacher were injured.
Having lived in the Winder area her whole life, Ballew expressed how the strength shown by her community amidst the tragedy provided her some comfort.
Yet, she actively avoids any reminders of the incident. “I keep myself busy because it feels like it’s everywhere,” she explained. “If I hear anything about it, I just try to move past it because it brings back the memories repeatedly.”
Similarly, Nicholas North, a 17-year-old senior at Apalachee, expressed his appreciation for the unity demonstrated by students, teachers, and families during the vigil. “This week has been incredibly emotional,” he stated.
Nevertheless, he feels “shaken.”
“It still affects me,” North admitted. “I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. It’ll likely never go away.”