It’s that exciting time of the year again.

Welcome to the fourth season of the Report Card, offering a light-hearted take on the weekly highs and lows of college football.

Just like last year, only the truly impressive performances will receive top grades, while any failures will remain unchangeable.

So, get ready and embark on this thrilling journey with YSL News Sports, culminating in the national championship on January 20 at the Mercedes-Benz Stadium in Atlanta — marking the conclusion of the inaugural season of the 12-team playoff.

Here’s how fans, teams, players, and coaches performed in Week 1:

College football returns with enthusiasm

No more to say.

134 reasons to celebrate: A+

Fireworks in September

During a college football game, it’s usually unremarkable to see schools using fireworks — until something goes awry.

In Thursday night’s clash between North Carolina and Minnesota in Minneapolis, the first three quarters were pretty dull. However, with UNC leading 19-17 and Noah Burnette having made four field goals including a crucial 45-yarder with 1:44 left, Minnesota still had an opportunity to win. The Gophers advanced 46 yards in seven plays to line up for a game-deciding 47-yard field goal attempt by Dragan Kesich, who had previously failed on a 27-yard attempt. Unfortunately, as time expired, Kesich’s kick sailed wide right, securing the win for UNC. Meanwhile, the game operations team at Huntington Bank Stadium seemed to celebrate too soon, launching fireworks that rivaled New York’s annual July 4 show.

Next time, the person overseeing the fireworks might want to ensure the officials are signaling the game is over before igniting the celebration.

Unwanted early celebration: F

Is Brian Bosworth onto something?

At this point, the NCAA’s insistence on limiting activities makes little sense. It seems to cling to a “law and order” relevance for reasons unknown. The latest example: the NCAA stopped Oklahoma State from placing QR codes on their helmets this season for reasons that are unclear.

The NCAA states that these stickers are considered advertising/commercial marks, which are prohibited. This reasoning sounds absurd, given that the logos from brands like Nike, Under Armour, Jordan Brand, and Adidas displayed on uniforms definitely constitute advertising. But this is the same organization that for years fought against athletes profiting from their names while being indifferent to whether these “student-athletes” left college with a diploma.

Selective outrage: Expelled; let’s hope for quick action

Interesting Stats

6 – Touchdowns by Boise State running back Ashton Jeanty against Georgia Southern. Jeanty set a school record with 267 yards on 20 carries in a 56-45 win.

9 – Years that Miami tight end Cam McCormick has played college football. McCormick’s only reception against Florida was a 9-yard touchdown.

59 – Games featuring FCS versus FBS teams in Week 1.

124 – Total snaps taken by Colorado’s two-way star Travis Hunter against North Dakota State

304 – Receiving yards recorded by Arizona’s Tetairoa McMillan against New Mexico, catching 10 passes and scoring four touchdowns in their 61-39 win.

449 – Weight, in pounds, of Florida defensive lineman Desmond Watson.

454 – Rushing yards gained by UCF in a 57-3 rout of New Hampshire.

$11,000,000 – Base salary for Dabo Swinney this season.

Quotes of the week

Former Alabama coach Nick Saban addressed Ohio State and its reportedly $20 million payroll for players through name, image, and likeness agreements: “You guys keep discussing a $20 million roster. If you don’t compensate the right players, you’re (expletive) out of luck,” said Saban.

***

A lively debate on TNT about defense:

Former NFL corner Champ Bailey remarked: “You know linebackers can’t cover.”

Former NFL linebacker Takeo Spikes interjected: “Hey, easy. Hold on!”

The Dog of the Week

Arkansas-Pine Bluff at Arkansas

Prepare yourself for a look at these spectacles:

Now, onto the game:

As a reminder, this section highlights the least impressive game of the week, whether due to an overwhelming score or the incompetence of the teams involved. It’s often a payday matchup designed to favor the stronger team, offering a guaranteed win for a hefty paycheck.

A drain on the athletic department’s finances.

This week, the spring practice extension took the team to Little Rock’s War Memorial Stadium. Unfortunately, not only was the football performance underwhelming, but there were also plumbing problems for the reporters covering the game (see above).

When both teams consent to shorten the game (in this instance, playing 10-minute quarters starting in the second half) — primarily for the players’ well-being, especially those who faced a 70-0 defeat like Pine Bluff did — it’s bound to be featured in this column. Moreover, it’s clear that fans had better things to do than endure a three-hour event that lacked any competitive spirit  especially in sweltering 95-degree weather.

Arkansas put on a dominant display, scoring touchdowns every time the Razorbacks had possession of the ball. They amassed 687 yards of offense while limiting the Golden Lions to just 7 yards on the ground. To make matters worse, Arkansas-Pine Bluff was penalized for donning black uniforms, thanks to an absurd NCAA rule on “sufficient contrast.” (For more on the NCAA’s absurd regulations, see above.)