Week 4 of college football brought disappointment for some North Carolina teams (hang in there, Raleigh and Chapel Hill fans) while others, like Michigan, thrived despite lack of passing success.

It’s time for the report card. Like last season, only extraordinary performances will earn top grades, while poor performances will remain low without a second chance.

Last week, the NCAA earned high marks for showing some common sense, while Kent State’s athletic department received failing grades for its apparent neglect of financial management.

Now, let’s assess how fans, teams, players, and coaches performed during Week 4.

Eli Drinkwitz: The Master of Poor Clock Management

Sometimes, coaches let their egos get the best of them. Ignoring their opponent’s capabilities or trying to outsmart everyone can lead to mistakes.

During Missouri’s matchup with an underdog Vanderbilt team, coach Eli Drinkwitz rolled out some of his usual questionable game strategies.

With the score tied at 10 and only 13 seconds left in the first half, Missouri had a fourth-and-3 at their own 47-yard line. What do you think Drinkwitz opted for?

• A: Punt?
• B: Punt?
• C: Punt?
• D: Attempt a risky play that results in a sack and turnover?

If you selected D, you could easily coach at least one play in college football — no experience needed. Vanderbilt quickly capitalized on that error by scoring three points with a 57-yard field goal as halftime approached.

Later in the game, with the score tied at 20 and just 53 seconds remaining, Missouri faced another tight situation on fourth-and-1 from Vanderbilt’s 47-yard line. This time, Drinkwitz chose to punt instead of trying to set up for a game-winning kick.

Fans have seen this scenario before; last season, Missouri benefited from a long field goal against Kansas State despite some questionable clock management from Drinkwitz.

Once again, Drinkwitz was lucky when Vanderbilt’s kicker missed a crucial field goal in double overtime.

Tip for Drinkwitz: Stay away from social media, at least for this week.

Tick, tock: F

Well, That Was Short-Lived

Here’s how some of the season’s top performers fared this Saturday:

Memphis, which previously defeated Florida State, fell to Navy.

Northern Illinois, fresh off a win against Notre Dame, lost to Buffalo.

The Check Still Clears: F

Highlights and Lowlights

Remarkable Hail Mary:

Prevent Defense, Better Offense: A+++++

Punt Return of the Year:

No, No, No Yes: A+

Dan Orlovsky Is Smiling:

Cue Yakety Sax: F—

Hustle Recognition:

Martin Lawrence Would Approve: A+

Wait, What?

Mossed: A+

Game Recognizes Game:

He Definitely Left the House Dressed Like That: Awarded Rhodes Scholarship

Scoop and Score:

Reservations for 99: Graduation

Iron, Too Kind:

Doink You Very Much: A

Ref vs. Student-Athlete:

Smacked: Incomplete

This Week’s One-Handed Catch Tribute:

Inaccurate Pass Complete: Extra Credit

What They Said

“The AP voters have done a complete disservice to Nebraska. The AP Poll is terrible. It is garbage,” stated FOX college football analyst Joel Klatt, claiming his rankings are superior. “Nebraska is far better than being ranked No. 22 in the country.”

Just days later, the disserviced Cornhuskers lost at home, 31-24 in overtime to Illinois.

***

North Carolina’s head coach Mack Brown made an understatement after his team allowed 70 points to James Madison:

“It was an embarrassing day, a shocking day,” said Brown. “You shouldn’t lose to a Group of Five team while at North Carolina, no excuses. Our defense was terrible, with missed tackles and communication errors. I take full responsibility and I’m embarrassed for our program that we put such a performance on the field.”

Stats for You

0: Turnovers forced by Troy across four games this season.

5: Hours taken to finish the first quarter of the East Carolina-Liberty game in Lynchburg, Virginia, due to multiple weather delays.

25: Consecutive losses for Nebraska against ranked teams.

64: Yards of a field goal by Temple kicker Maddux Trujillo against Utah State, the longest ever recorded at Philadelphia’s Lincoln Financial Field.

800: Total wins for Clemson’s football program.

1,217:

1,225: Total offensive yards recorded by Memphis and Navy.

$700,000: Payment made to James Madison for their match against North Carolina.

Highlight of the Week

Houston vs. Cincinnati

Due to the canines opting out of a trip to Kent State (which suffered a 56-0 defeat against Penn State while earning $1.6 million), they instead headed to Cincinnati to watch the Bearcats face the Houston Cougars, who recently put up a tough fight against Oklahoma.

Unfortunately for Houston, their momentum didn’t follow them to Cincinnati, resulting in a 34-0 loss, which wasn’t even that close. With three turnovers, seven penalties, a missed 32-yard field goal, and only 233 yards gained offensively — these mistakes will certainly lead to defeat at any football level.

The Bearcats are doing well, having already matched their total wins from the previous season with three victories. It’s also noteworthy that Kent State and Houston were the only FBS teams that didn’t score during Saturday’s games.