How can I settle a hostile email exchange before it worsens? Consult HR
Johnny C. Taylor Jr. addresses human resources inquiries as part of a series for YSL News. He is the president and CEO of the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM)—the largest HR professional organization—and the author of “Reset: A Leader’s Guide to Work in an Age of Upheaval.”
Question: After getting a dismissive email from a colleague about a recent project, I replied in a similarly curt manner, which led to a series of increasingly aggressive messages. The tone of our emails has escalated, creating tension. How can we resolve this email conflict and avoid it affecting our working relationship? –Jerome
It’s completely understandable that rising tensions in email exchanges can strain working relationships. Here are some tactics to help you resolve the issue and move on:
Take a moment to cool down: When feelings are heightened, taking a step back is crucial. Give yourself time to calm down and reflect on the situation. This will enable you to respond more thoughtfully and mitigate further escalation.
Arrange a face-to-face meeting: Emails can often result in misunderstandings due to the absence of nonverbal cues. Suggest a direct meeting or video call to discuss the matter in person. This allows for clear communication of your concerns, better understanding of your co-worker’s viewpoint, and clarification of any underlying misunderstandings.
Prioritize understanding: Approach the discussion with the intent to comprehend your colleague’s perspective. Steer clear of assumptions or premature conclusions. Engage in active listening and pose clarifying questions to better grasp their viewpoint.
Apologize when needed: If you regret your email’s tone or content, offer a sincere apology. Acknowledge your part in escalating the conflict and express a wish to move forward.
Discuss communication preferences: Use this moment to talk about communication styles and preferences with your colleagues. Addressing this can help avoid future misunderstandings and establish clearer expectations for interactions.
Consider mediation if necessary: If a direct conversation doesn’t resolve the issue, think about involving someone neutral, like your manager or an HR representative. They can help facilitate a constructive discussion and find common ground.
From my perspective, conflicts at work often arise between colleagues who genuinely care about their jobs. Their shared passion for achieving accuracy and success can provide a basis for common ground. Be ready to express your core motivations at work and listen to theirs; you might find they aren’t too different from you.
Keep in mind, effective two-way communication and openness to compromise are vital for addressing workplace disputes. By applying these strategies, you can rebuild your connection with your colleague and foster a more positive work atmosphere.
I believe I would excel as a manager, but I’m unsure how to pursue a leadership position. How can I approach my supervisor about preparing for advancement into management? – Wilma
Your eagerness and ambition to step into a managerial role are commendable. Showing your interest and capabilities to your supervisor can be a key move towards achieving your aspirations.
Begin by evaluating your strengths and experiences as they relate to managerial responsibilities. Assess your ability to lead teams, delegate tasks, make decisions, inspire others, and resolve conflicts. Point out specific instances where you have showcased these qualities in your current position.
When you set up a meeting with your supervisor, be direct about your intentions. Share your desire to discuss your career objectives and discover opportunities for growth within the organization. Start by expressing your appreciation for your current role and the value you bring to the team.
Emphasize your leadership skills and readiness to take on more responsibilities. Provide specific examples of your achievements and how they highlight your potential as a manager. Identify moments when you’ve contributed to others’ success in the workplace. Be prepared to outline your career vision and how it aligns with the organization’s goals.
During your discussion, listen attentively to your supervisor’s feedback and ask insightful questions. Be receptive to their suggestions and explore ways to further develop your managerial abilities, such as through training, mentorship, or taking on leadership roles in projects.
Remember, this is a dialogue, not a monologue. Show genuine curiosity about your supervisor’s perspective and how you can contribute to the organization’s success.
By proactively and thoughtfully expressing your interest, you can position yourself as a valuable asset to the company, enhancing your chances of advancing into a managerial role.