Nicole Kidman has been contemplating the concept of death.

In an interview with GQ, the Oscar-awarded actress shared that, following the death of her mother earlier this year, she occasionally awakens in the night crying, partly due to reflections on mortality and the passing of her parents.

“Mortality. Connection. Life’s experiences hitting you,” she recounted. “Loss of parents, raising kids, marriage—everything that contributes to being a fully aware person. I’m navigating all those feelings. Life is, whew. It’s certainly a journey.”

Kidman, 57, took what GQ noted as a “sharp, dramatic breath” while stating that these feelings become more pronounced with age. “It’s a wake-up experience at 3 am, crying and gasping. If you’re truly experiencing it and not numbing yourself to it. I’m in it. Completely in that moment.”

Kidman’s mother, Janelle, passed away in September at the age of 84, following the earlier loss of her father in 2014.

During the GQ discussion, the “Big Little Lies” star reflected on her father’s death, sharing a moment with her youngest daughter who thought Kidman’s sadness was just acting. Kidman has two children with her husband, Keith Urban, as well as two others with her previous husband, Tom Cruise.

“The little one was too young to know whether I was genuinely sad or acting,” Kidman said. “She asked, ‘Mummy acting now?’ Meanwhile, the older child reassured, ‘No, mummy isn’t acting now.’ The older one also asked, ‘You won’t still be sad in the morning, will you?’ because they want to avoid a home filled with sadness. Who wouldn’t?”

However, Kidman emphasized the importance of facing the pain for the sake of her children. “It continues,” she remarked. “That natural progression of life: parents move on, then you, then your children. It seems to be the natural flow. So if that happens, it’s a blessing.”

Kidman found out about her mother’s passing just as she was being honored with the Volpi Cup for best actress at the Venice Film Festival for her film “Babygirl.” At the event, director Halina Reijn relayed a message from Kidman stating she received the news about her “beautiful, brave” mother shortly after arriving in Venice.

“I’m in shock and I have to be with my family,” her statement read. “But this award is dedicated to her. She shaped me, guided me, and made me who I am.”

After the reading, Reijn offered her condolences, telling Kidman, “We love you all, Nicole.”

Kidman took to Instagram later, thanking her supporters for their compassion during this difficult time.

“My sister, our family, and I sincerely appreciate all the love and kindness we’ve received this past week,” she posted.

“Every message from those who admired our mother means more to us than we can express. Thank you from all of us for respecting our privacy while we look after each other.”