In a recent episode of the “Call Her Daddy” podcast, actor Noah Centineo shared that he lost his virginity at 18, describing himself as a “late bloomer.”

It’s unclear whether the 28-year-old star of “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before” was joking, but many users on TikTok reacted: “18 is a late bloomer? I think that’s still quite young,” one user commented, while another said: “late bloomer?! That’s not late at all.”

There’s no reason to feel embarrassed about when you lose your virginity. Consider Rebel Wilson, who waited until she was 35.

Wilson mentioned in an interview with People that “People can choose to wait until they’re ready or until they feel more mature.” She emphasized the importance of not feeling pressured, adding, “You don’t have to wait until your thirties like I did, but it’s okay to take your time if you’re young.”

For years, films and TV have depicted characters who are abstinent as odd, repressed, or naïve (e.g., Steve Carell’s character Andy in “The 40 Year Old Virgin,” who is ridiculed by others). A 2016 study revealed that individuals who are less sexually experienced are often viewed as “flawed” in the dating scene.

However, many sexual health experts view this differently. In fact, setting personal boundaries can empower those wanting control over their bodies and relationships. As Amanda McCracken, a sexual empowerment advocate, stated, “There’s just as much power in saying no as there is in saying yes,” in a previous discussion with YSL News.

Everyone’s journey regarding relationships and sexuality is unique, so there’s no need to feel pressured if you relate to Centineo’s or Wilson’s experiences.

Are young people having less casual sex and embracing single life?

Despite Centineo’s remarks, many young people today are choosing to pass on casual sex.

Research from Rutgers University-New Brunswick in 2021 indicated that casual sexual encounters have decreased over the years. While some might think this shift was driven by the pandemic, the trend actually began long before that.

According to sex researcher Candice Hargons, a healthy sex life has many benefits, but there are equally positive aspects to saying no. Some choose abstinence because they are weary of hookup culture and yearn for deeper emotional connections, while others may use this as a chance for self-reflection.

Wilson shared her past hesitance about discussing virginity, recalling that she used to leave the room when the topic arose. “People would say, ‘Oh, it’s so late at 24.’ And I would think, ‘What about me at 35? Am I the biggest loser?'” The same feelings can apply to being 18 in some situations.

Nevertheless, recent statistics suggest that young people today may be entering long-term romantic relationships at a slower rate than previous generations.

“Cultural shifts began as millennials reached adulthood,” explains Moe Ari Brown, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “We aren’t marrying as young as our parents did.”

In 2022, the average age for first marriages was 30.1 for men and 28.2 for women, according to U.S. Census Bureau data. In 1990, those ages were 26.1 for men and 23.9 for women.

“As a result, first romantic relationships may also occur later in life compared to past generations,” Brown adds. “This is encouraging news for anyone who feels alone in their single status.”

Reasons individuals may avoid romantic and sexual relationships

People are pursuing education longer and are increasingly interested in exploring their LGBTQ identities and People are increasingly challenging conventional relationship norms, according to Brown.

Wilson, who is currently engaged to designer Ramona Agruma, expressed that she “would have been more open to exploring her sexuality” if she had been born two decades later.

If fear of romantic engagements is preventing someone from being in a relationship, seeking professional guidance could be helpful.

“If a person feels anxious and finds social situations uncomfortable, there are coaches and therapists available who can provide useful exercises,” explains Courtney Watson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “In cases where past traumas are a factor, therapy can also be an excellent resource.”

What to Consider if You Haven’t Been in a Relationship or Had Sex

• Remember you’re not alone. “Many individuals have not yet experienced a long-term romantic relationship, and it’s perfectly fine to wait until you’re ready,” says Brown.
• Take time for self-discovery. “Understanding yourself better can help you know what you truly want, aiding you in recognizing the right partner when they come along,” adds Brown.
• Identify your desires. Do you genuinely want a relationship, or is it something you feel pressured to want?
• Be willing to be vulnerable. “You should be prepared to step outside of your comfort zone and interact with others, or use dating apps in ways you might have previously shunned to find what works for you,” Watson notes.
• Maintain your boundaries. Avoid changing who you are to meet someone else’s expectations.
• Refrain from making comparisons. Don’t view Centineo and Wilson as the only benchmarks. “You’re never moving too quickly or too slowly,” Brown advises. “Consider yourself to be right on schedule for your life’s unique journey. Everything will happen in its own time, and you’ll see that it was well worth the wait.”

Contributors: Jenna Ryu and Laura Berman