A woman shared this experience in a viral TikTok video that garnered 1.7 million views by Tuesday. It depicted how a man from the dating app Hinge abruptly ended their chat while she was heading to meet him, leaving her feeling abandoned at a New York City subway station. She quickly turned to social media to share her story. Comments poured in, with one saying, “This happens way too often,” while others echoed similar sentiments: “This happened to me while I was literally outside the place we were meeting!” “It’s really tough out there.”

Dating often feels like a wild ride. However, the secret to a successful and healthy relationship is to accept the ups and downs, stay composed, and find perspective. When you meet the right person, it can feel like a gentle landing.

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author of “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,” explains, “If someone disappears after a brief interaction on an app, they’re likely doing you a favor. They reveal early on that they may not have the emotional maturity necessary for a healthy, long-lasting relationship characterized by honest communication.”

‘No clear guidelines’

“Dating comes with its challenges,” says Luis Cornejo, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “You’re dealing with your feelings alongside someone else’s expectations, communication style, and their readiness for a relationship.”

Therefore, issues such as unmatching are—sadly—common in contemporary dating. “There are really no established rules for how to engage,” states Kevin Chapman, founder and director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders. “This often leads to a sense of unfairness when expectations are not met.”

The habit of swiftly swiping left and right has also contributed to unhealthy comparisons and unrealistic expectations about dating experiences, according to Chase Cassine, a licensed clinical social worker.

Ghosting someone is simple, and it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that there’s a real person on the other side of the screen. However, just because it’s an easy action doesn’t lessen its emotional impact. “Her confusion about suddenly losing contact makes total sense,” observes Morin. “She was left wondering if she had accidentally deleted the conversation or if he had genuinely chosen to ghost her.”

Moreover, “being rejected can trigger negative emotions such as feelings of unworthiness, disappointment, and self-doubt, which can skew our self-image,” adds Cassine.

‘Is this crossing a line?’

Sharing feelings of rejection on social media has become a novel way to reclaim control during vulnerable moments.

“Rather than feeling ashamed about being stood up, she embraces the experience, engages her audience, and chooses to publicly call out the date by sharing his (personal details),” says Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary’s University in Canada. “This raises the question— does this cross a line?”

After all, “there could be a multitude of reasons for his sudden disappearance,” adds Morin. “Whether he is already in a relationship and got caught or experiences social anxiety that made him back out.”

‘A moment for self-discovery’

So how can you handle situations like this?

If you’re not keen on going on a date, be straightforward about it. “Having an open conversation where you express rejection can be brave but is ultimately the kindest approach,” Morin suggests. “It spares the other person from wondering what went wrong or wasting time on uncertainty.”

And if someone unmatched you or ghosts you, use that time for self-reflection. Cornejo advises: “Reflect on whether this situation aligns with your values. What insights have you gained about your relationship preferences—what you want or don’t desire? While disappointment is unavoidable, setting boundaries and focusing on your emotional well-being can aid recovery when things don’t unfold as expected.”

This approach can provide you, “an opportunity to learn more about yourself, grow, and connect in meaningful ways when that special person arrives.”