When students begin their journey in college, both they and their parents must navigate a new and unfamiliar environment.

College brings a greater sense of freedom for students, who now must manage their time to attend classes and maintain their grades in a challenging academic atmosphere. Add in newfound social lives, balancing fun with schoolwork, and possibly even a job, it’s understandable that grades can sometimes slip.

The question arises: Are parents entitled to access their college-aged children’s grades? Does the matter hinge on who is covering the tuition costs?

Welcome once again to Uncomfortable Conversations About Money, a series dedicated to discussing sensitive financial topics that may create discomfort. We’ll present the issue and offer some practical solutions.

The struggle over disclosing college grades

The issue: When Andreea Gociman-Pfeifer’s son, Simon, began his college journey in 2018 at Loyola University in Chicago, the topic of grades quickly came up and sparked disagreements.

Simon lived at home, just a short 15-minute commute from campus. Although he was awarded a $20,000 scholarship, Andreea and her husband, Peter, were responsible for the remainder of his tuition and his daily expenses.

Andreea describes her family as very close-knit, stating that she and her children, Simon and Giselle, often share a lot, including information that may be difficult to hear.

So when she asked Simon to share his grades, she didn’t think it would be a problem.

However, Simon declined her request.

“There were numerous arguments,” Andreea said. “I’m not a helicopter mom, but we do have a tight family bond. We talk about everything.”

She added, “So I wanted to know, ‘Hey dude, how are your grades?'”

According to Andreea, Simon would provide vague information about his grades but never shared specific details, leading to ongoing disputes.

The grades are revealed

After Simon completed his first semester, the family was on vacation in the Dominican Republic over the holidays when Andreea sensed something was amiss.

“It was a dark day, both literally and metaphorically, and my son looked absolutely drained,” she remembered.

Simon had been placed on academic probation due to his grades and risked losing his scholarship.

While Andreea maintained a calm demeanor, she was resolute.

“I told him, ‘I expect to see improvements within a month, or I won’t be paying for this anymore.”

Andreea expressed this sentiment clearly: “This is his responsibility. My children know this—it’s their job to go to school.” She felt that she was, in a sense, paying him for his education and he was not delivering results.

In other words, she stated, “I told him this is like an investment. If it’s not yielding good returns, why should I continue investing?”

Ultimately, Simon improved his academic performance at Loyola, raising his GPA to 3.8 the following semester, and continued to excel at the University of Central Florida after transferring, following a remote semester due to COVID-19. By this time, the family had relocated to Florida.

Simon has since graduated, is employed at a law firm, and plans to apply to law school.

Did he eventually share his grades with Andreea?

“He did show some grades, but I didn’t have complete access to them,” she replied. “It remained a recurring issue.”

Parents should have access to their kids’ grades, says Andreea

Andreea believes that parents should be entitled to know their college students’ grades.

“Just because you turn 18 doesn’t suddenly mean you have all the knowledge you need,” she explained. “Entering adulthood is a gradual process.”

Andreea shared that her beliefs stem from her upbringing in Romania, where she was raised by strict parents. She intends to maintain similar high standards for her own children.

She feels that parents should have the right to access their college-aged children’s grades, no matter if they are paying for their education.

“Even if your child has a full scholarship covering everything you’re still providing support,” she remarked.

Additionally, in cases where parents cannot contribute financially to college in tuition, they might still support their student through other means, such as covering cell phone bills, insurance, or offering a home for the holidays, Andreea observed.

However, in cases where the parent and child do not maintain a relationship and the student is entirely responsible for their college expenses, Andreea believes parents should not have access to grades.

She emphasized that her request for grades was never about control; rather, it was her method of providing support and ensuring her son’s success academically.

A Different Situation for the Younger Sibling

Simon’s younger sister, Giselle, commenced her college journey this fall at Florida State University. She managed to secure scholarships alongside a stipend to cover her tuition and much of her housing, resulting in minimal financial burdens for their parents.

Giselle was aware of Simon’s struggles regarding grades with their mother; however, Andreea noted that they had never discussed the future arrangements concerning Giselle’s education.

No discussions were needed; earlier in the summer, while driving, Giselle informed Andreea that she had granted her access to her fall grades.

“She simply possesses a different temperament,” Andreea commented, noting that Giselle chose to share her grades even prior to their college orientation.

Although Andreea isn’t certain she will check the grades, she appreciates having the option.

“It’s like a verbal agreement in business; we need to have trust. When Simon withheld that information, some trust was eroded. I was also validated by the outcomes observed in January 2019,” she remarked.

Legal Context for Access to Grades

Advice from an expert: There exists a legal framework around this issue, encompassing insights from an academic dean, a professor, and a parent’s viewpoint.

This month’s expert, Andrea Hershatter, holds multiple positions: she is an associate professor specializing in organization and management and the senior associate dean for undergraduate education at Emory University’s Goizueta Business School. She is also a parent of two college graduates.

Starting with the legal perspective: The Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) is a federal statute that safeguards the privacy of student educational records. This legislation is applicable to all educational institutions receiving federal funding from the U.S. Department of Education.

The law states, “FERPA provides parents certain rights regarding their children’s educational records, which are transferred to the student when they turn 18 or enroll in a post-secondary institution.”

This indicates that a student aged 16 attending a college or university possesses their own rights to educational records, not their parents’, according to Hershatter.

There are specific exceptions to this law that may permit, but do not obligate, a college or university to provide information from a student’s educational records to parents, as confirmed by a U.S. Department of Education spokesperson.

The U.S. Department of Education’s FAQ section specifies that if the student is considered a dependent for tax purposes, “either parent may access records under this provision unless legally prohibited by a court order.”

So, the answer regarding parental access to grades is “sometimes.”

Is it Acceptable for Parents to Contact Professors?

“It’s generally uncommon and often inadvisable for parents to communicate directly with college professors, unless there’s an urgent matter that needs addressing” — in such emergencies, a range of support resources is available, noted Hershatter, who has brought over 30 years of teaching experience to this insight.

“As a student progresses through their college journey, the dialogue about access to grades or other information should be fundamentally a conversation between the student and their parent. This aspect should be negotiated and mutually agreed upon,” Hershatter stated.

Involving the college in the communication between parent and student does not foster independence in young adults and, in many instances, it is not feasible unless the student consents under the law, Hershatter elaborated.

Even when parents have the legal right to access or discuss grades, Hershatter believes those discussions should include the student.

What if a Parent Calls ‘I pay the bills. Shouldn’t I see the grades?’

Just because a parent covers tuition costs doesn’t automatically grant them access to their child’s report card. “We appreciate you choosing our university for your child, but we can’t confirm or deny their enrollment,” explained Hershatter, who has studied millennials.

In certain situations, a parent who is estranged might be seeking information about their child, which is why confidentiality measures are in place, she noted.

Does it matter if parents are paying?

Parents often believe they have a right to see their child’s academic performance, particularly when they are covering significant expenses, according to Hershatter.

“Grades serve as one indicator of what a student is gaining from their education,” she remarked. “They are important because they can be measured. It’s not surprising that parents want to check on their children’s grades.”

However, when parents assert that their tuition payments entitle them to access grades, “it turns the relationship into a transactional one, and I don’t view it this way at all,” Hershatter stated.

Sending a child to college implies an understanding that the institution is helping the student transition into adulthood, Hershatter explained. Parents should shift discussions beyond just grades to focus on providing support throughout their child’s educational journey.

If you do see grades, keep perspective

Regular communication between parents and students is essential to celebrate achievements and address challenges, said Hershatter.

As an educator, she emphasizes “thoughtfulness when examining a student’s grades.” Transitioning from high school to college is a significant step that includes adjusting to both academic pressures and independent living. Students require time to establish effective study habits.

Many students also face challenges realizing that after being at the top of their high school class, they are now competing with peers who all excel, Hershatter added.

Additionally, some professors may intentionally set high benchmarks early in the semester to encourage students, which means that students might have a lower midterm grade that improves by the end of the term as they find their stride.

Consequently, no single grade or class is likely to be a definitive turning point for a GPA, she said.

Having an open discussion before grades are released is advisable, according to Hershatter.

As a parent of two college graduates who shared their grades openly, Hershatter expressed her interest in knowing about any course withdrawals or areas where her children might be struggling at semester’s end. She encourages parents to help students realize the available campus resources, like tutoring, and to facilitate discussions with their professors.

“I would also want to celebrate their successes,” she added.

We want your input

Do you have a topic for Uncomfortable Conversations about Money? Or would you like to share your own Uncomfortable Conversation experience? Contact blinfisher@USATODAY.com with “Uncomfortable Conversations” in the subject line.

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Betty Lin-Fisher is a consumer reporter for YSL News.  Follow her on X, Facebook, or Instagram @blinfisher.