Following the devastation caused by Hurricane Helene in Asheville, North Carolina, Shirley Rotolo, aged 55, tragically passed away from what is believed to be a heart attack at her home, which still lacks power and water.

On the morning of September 28, Rotolo died in her son Ulisse’s arms, unable to reach emergency medical services due to a lack of cell service. The previous day, she had witnessed the storm’s destruction first-hand while searching for food. Her daughter Nausica described the last ten days as a “nightmare” and “pure hell,” as she is trying to arrange the funeral from an Airbnb in Raleigh.

“My mother adored Asheville. She always said it was where she had the most friendships. She loved her job there and felt happy, and I think the overwhelming nature of it all took a toll on her,” Nausica shared. “I firmly believe that if it weren’t for this hurricane, my mother would still be alive.”

The Rotolo family is among many others mourning the loss of loved ones, homes, businesses, and the cherished Appalachian landscape that has been irrevocably altered by the hurricane.

The financial implications of repairing the damage from Helene, which made landfall in Florida as a Category 4 hurricane on September 26, are anticipated to exceed $30 billion. As of Saturday, the YSL News Network reported that the death toll from Helene has risen to 228.

‘I feel so guilty’

Shirley and Nausica both worked at Odyssey School in Asheville, where Nausica taught art, and Shirley taught kindergarten. A published children’s book author and a beloved figure to many, Nausica mentioned that the school community is also mourning her mother’s loss, as many considered her the best teacher they ever had.

“It’s all very overwhelming. I’m not sure how my family will cope when the full weight of this reality hits us,” Nausica expressed. “Many parents are reaching out, sharing how lost they feel without her.”

Mariana Restrepo, a friend of Nausica, has not stopped thinking about the Rotolo family since the news broke.

“I feel so guilty,” Restrepo admitted. “It’s horrible that this happened. It’s been in my thoughts constantly.”

Restrepo and her boyfriend Christian Carreno are thankful that their apartment was mostly unaffected by the storm. They left Asheville a few days after the hurricane to stay with family members whose homes in other areas of the state are equipped with water and gas.

“Feeling survivor’s guilt is quite common,” noted Kelly Crosbie, director at the state’s Department of Health and Human Services mental health division. “People must remember that they are not to blame for this crisis. Their guilt indicates that they are empathetic and caring individuals, which is commendable and can be used positively to assist and volunteer.”

Crosbie also urged those dealing with the emotional strain from the hurricane to access the state’s 24/7 disaster helpline and suicide hotline. She emphasized that mental health counselors are being provided to first responders and caregivers.

“Everyone in North Carolina knows someone affected by this disaster,” stated Rebecca Feinglos, a certified grief support specialist in Durham. “Even if I’m doing fine, knowing that the storm shifted slightly west and decimated others is jarring. It leaves many of us feeling bewildered and questioning ‘Why not us?’ which is a form of grief itself.”

This sense of grief may persist.

“We often overlook the long-lasting emotions (such as grief) that may follow the loss of one’s belongings,” explained Maryanne Fisher, a psychology professor at St. Mary’s University in Canada. “Years later, when someone’s name comes up in family discussions, the loss of physical memories, like photographs, can reignite feelings of sorrow.”

David Kessler, who runs Grief.com and has personal experience with grief as a child who lost his home to Hurricane Camille, understands this well.

“Now, when I hear discussions about storm surges, I comprehend the extreme dangers involved,” he reflected. “Losing a home is a deeply traumatic experience filled with grief. Many do not realize how devastating it can truly be until they experience it themselves. I lost all my childhood photos because of that.”

‘Home is irreplaceable’

Jessica Lynn Luffman, 33, works as an independent contractor in Elkin, taking assignments in Boone, Banner Elk, and surrounding areas.

She is familiar with the mountainous region and its inhabitants. Following the impact of Hurricane Helene on North Carolina, she took the time to check on former clients, offering transportation down the mountain and pondering how the homes with expansive glass walls, overlooking the scenery, managed during the landslides.

As she drove her truck through the area, she noticed streams she had overlooked before, now swollen, and commented on the numerous fallen trees creating a scent reminiscent of “Christmas” mixed with “mud.”

Luffman expressed that after the hurricane’s devastation in the mountains, it felt akin to a tragedy affecting a beloved family member. The land holds significant meaning for her family. She, along with her mother and grandmother, wishes to have their ashes scattered at Wildcat Rock Trail upon their passing.

Restrepo, located about 150 miles away, shares a deep bond with Asheville, describing the mountains as “other-worldly.” She noted that many relocate there seeking healing, as the area is known for its restorative qualities.

“There’s truly no place like Asheville. It’s home,” Restrepo said, expressing her desire to own a home in the city someday. “My connection has only grown stronger.”

Feinglos highlighted that numerous individuals moved to Asheville, situated in the western region of the state, under the impression it was shielded from climate change impacts. She remarked that the sorrow stemming from climate change is very real, and the local community now mourns their lost sense of security.

This grief is unique – and it merits exploration. “Given the magnitude of loss, we cannot overlook the grief that will unavoidably follow,” stated Gina Moffa, a licensed clinical social worker and author of “Moving On Doesn’t Mean Letting Go.” “It’s crucial to grieve and recognize all losses, including secondary losses, and the ongoing impact that will unfold over time.”

Kevin Chapman, the founder and director of the Kentucky Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders, advises: “Take the time to grieve by deliberately reflecting on your emotional responses.”

Feinglos reminisced about joyful moments spent with her parents in the mountains, referring to the landscape as “an anchor to our North Carolina identity.”

“Asheville and the surrounding mountains, including places in eastern Tennessee and Georgia that have also been affected, will be rebuilt. However, the memories of what transpired will linger,” Feinglos remarked. “The void won’t simply disappear as if it never happened. We must learn to embrace both experiences. We can move ahead, rebuild, and simultaneously honor the grief and pain that remains.”