In the latest episode of The Excerpt podcast: Our perspectives on sex and marriage have evolved significantly over time, influenced by both cultural shifts and generational experiences. Baby boomers sought sexual freedom at Woodstock with limited sexual education. Generation X explored intimacy at grunge concerts and amidst the AIDS crisis, which highlighted the serious risks associated with sex. Millennials navigated the contradiction of abstinence-focused education against a backdrop of easily accessible online pornography. How does our age shape our sexual experiences? YSL News Wellness Reporter David Oliver joins The Excerpt for the second installment of a four-part series examining how various generations confront life’s challenges.

Dana Taylor:

Welcome to The Excerpt. I’m Dana Taylor. Today’s date is Thursday, October 10th, 2024, and we’re presenting a special episode focusing on a tough topic: why is it so hard to discuss sex? After all, it’s a fundamental aspect of life. And why am I, of all people, tasked with leading this discussion while battling giggles? YSL News reporters have explored various issues like retirement planning and climate change through generational perspectives. When it comes to sex, many still find it challenging to open up about what they see, experience, and desire. Joining me to discuss the generational gap in talking about and experiencing sex is YSL News wellness reporter David Oliver. Thanks for being here, David.

David Oliver:

I appreciate the invitation. Happy to be here.

Dana Taylor:

Despite the passage of decades since the sexual liberation era of the 1960s, discussing sex still feels awkward. Why is that? Do both boomers and Gen Z face this challenge?

David Oliver:

This challenge is universal. Particularly for baby boomers, many grew up without much conversation about sex from their parents. Many learned about it through experiences without guidance. In contrast, Gen Z and millennials have increased exposure to sex-related media and discussion through various formats. The conversations are more open now, but that doesn’t necessarily equate to ease.

Dana Taylor:

You examined how millennial and Gen X parents convey sexual education to their kids. How does the approach differ between what boomers learned and what Gen Z is being taught today?

David Oliver:

The way we discuss sex has dramatically changed. Nowadays, there’s a significant focus on consent, which is a major shift from the past, where discussions often centered around basic mechanics like the birds and the bees. Today, parents emphasize that no one is obligated to any sexual experience. There’s less stress placed on traditional concepts like virginity; it’s now all about ensuring everyone is comfortable with their sexual interactions, a perspective not commonly shared before.

Dana Taylor:

With the internet making sexual content readily accessible, were you surprised to find that Gen Z appears to be engaging in sexual activities less than millennials did at the same age, despite both growing up in a digital age?

David Oliver:

It’s an intriguing observation. Research suggests Gen Z might be having less sex, but personal accounts from those I interviewed reflect a more nuanced view. They may not be engaging in traditional penetrative sex as frequently, instead exploring various forms of sexual expression. So, rather than wondering if they’re having less sex, we should concentrate on the type of sexual activities they engage in, ensuring they have healthy, consensual experiences.

Dana Taylor:

Are we noticing a real cultural shift among younger generations towards accepting different sexual orientations? How did this awareness emerge among boomers, and was that experience different?

David Oliver:

Yes, surveys indicate a growing acceptance among younger generations towards diverse orientations. In contrast, support for different orientations tends to be lower among older generations. Gen Z is generally more accepting than millennials, who in turn are more open than Gen X and boomers. While many queer individuals have always existed across generations, it’s unclear whether the rise in visibility is due to increased self-acceptance or other sociocultural factors. Younger generations are generally more accepting, while the older generations haven’t necessarily caught up as quickly.

Dana Taylor:

You mentioned that millennials seem to encounter boredom in their sexual lives. How are they addressing this, if at all, based on your discussions?

David Oliver:

There’s a notable trend towards exploring various relationship structures, although concepts like polyamory and swinging aren’t new; they’ve existed long before society embraced monogamy. However, millennials and Gen Z are now more inclined to challenge traditional relationship norms, looking beyond the monogamous models that their parents may have followed. Many are open to experimenting with open or polyamorous relationships, seeking new ways to engage emotionally and physically.

and experimenting with what fits their personal choices, alongside differing perspectives on monogamy. Is it possible to maintain a monogamous partnership while still engaging in flirtation? Perhaps, in instances where your partner is away, you might consider briefly opening your relationship. The interpretations of monogamy can vary significantly among individuals. I feel that younger generations are currently more willing to question traditional norms and engage in open discussions about these topics.

Dana Taylor:

How did the boomer generation handle feelings of boredom? Was that the era marked by key parties?

David Oliver:

Indeed, that was a common way for them to address boredom. The key party era was marked by boomers embracing an alternative lifestyle of swinging. In such gatherings, attendees would drop their keys into a bowl, someone would draw a key at random, and then engage in sexual relations with the corresponding spouse. It was essentially a swapping of partners. This practice has evolved but still exists in various forms today, like swinger parties, although it may not look exactly the same anymore. Historically, this is one of the ways boomers and other generations have attempted to invigorate their marriages. Nonetheless, it varies among generations, as each has contrasting views on what this might entail.

Dana Taylor:

From your reporting, one of the most significant insights for me was the generational shift in how consent is viewed. However, there has been a rise in what one of your sources termed “scary sex,” referring to violent or coercive actions like non-consensual choking. Can you shed light on this concerning trend?

David Oliver:

This trend seems to be linked to the proliferation of pornography online. While adult content isn’t a new phenomenon, the internet’s accessibility allows anyone to distribute explicit videos, leading to unchecked curiosity on a vast scale. This availability has both positive educational aspects regarding sexuality and unsettling implications. Hence, it underscores the critical need for broader education on consent. If someone prefers certain practices, such as incorporating pain or choking during sex, it’s essential to ensure that these interactions are safe and consensual. It’s a complicated issue where we should approach behaviors without judgment, provided that they are mutually agreeable and safe for both partners.

Dana Taylor:

For Generation X, the focus on scary sex during the 1980s and 1990s primarily revolved around unprotected sexual activity due to the HIV crisis. How do both younger and older generations perceive sexual behavior and the transmission of STIs?

David Oliver:

Younger generations are typically more informed, benefiting from options like PrEP and Doxy-PEP for preventing various sexually transmitted infections beyond HIV. It’s crucial to understand that the concept of “undetectable equals untransmittable” applies to individuals on effective HIV treatment. Thus, much of the fear surrounding sexual activity in the ’80s and ’90s may not hold the same weight today.

However, awareness of STIs and prevention methods remains key. Safe practices, such as consistent condom use in monogamous partnerships, and regular health check-ups are vital. Reports of higher STI instances in nursing facilities highlight the importance of protection and proactive discussion about sexual health, underscoring the need for communication with friends and healthcare providers.

Dana Taylor:

Is there a noticeable gap in how different generations approach this issue?

David Oliver:

I don’t perceive a generational divide as much as an individual one. The risks for various communities differ significantly based on their specific vulnerabilities to diseases like HIV or gonorrhea. It’s a factor of locality rather than age. Regardless, there should be no stigma attached to discussing STIs, and seeking treatment is paramount, as is sharing information with partners. Education should be a priority for everyone, irrespective of age.

Dana Taylor:

Did you discover if all generations share a capacity for enjoying sex, or is it more enjoyable for some than others?

David Oliver:

Every generation can find joy in sexual experiences. The fundamental ability to enjoy sex hasn’t shifted profoundly over time, aside from the shared right for individuals to comprehend their bodies and their desires. Not everyone will be comfortable or knowledgeable about what they want right from the outset of their sexual journeys. For instance, someone undergoing menopause will likely experience changes in their sexual life, just as older men may face difficulties with erectile function. So, this varies across generations.

Dana Taylor:

Religion has traditionally influenced societal views on acceptable sexual conduct. Has there been any shift in that perspective? What did you learn in that regard?

David Oliver:

I didn’t come across extensive commentary on that topic. One individual mentioned how her religious background led to feelings of shame around her body, making discussions about sexuality uncomfortable. This suggests that many faiths may instill a sense of guilt associated with sex, often emphasizing procreation over pleasure. It’s worth exploring these beliefs to promote a healthier sexual outlook.

Ultimately, what matters is what works for each individual. If someone chooses not to explore their sexual identity, that’s entirely their choice. Yet, my reporting indicates that greater awareness of one’s body and desires, alongside education, is invaluable.

Dana Taylor:

Did anything surprise you in terms of similarities or stark differences?

How do various generations perceive, experience, and discuss sex?

David Oliver:

I was surprised to find how much alike they actually are. I had preconceived notions about the differences in sexual perspectives between baby boomers and Gen Z. However, it seems everyone just wants to enjoy themselves and feel good about both themselves and their partners. The main point here is this: at the end of the day, everyone desires to have fulfilling sex. We must engage in conversations about it to ensure that happens.

Dana Taylor:

Talking about this topic can be tough, but I appreciate you joining me for this discussion, David. Thank you for being here.

David Oliver:

Thank you, happy to be here.

Dana Taylor:

We also want to thank our senior producers, Shannon Rae Green and Kaely Monahan, for their support in production. Our executive producer is Laura Beatty. We’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode—feel free to send your feedback to podcasts@usatoday.com. Thank you for listening. I’m Dana Taylor, and Taylor Wilson will return tomorrow morning with another episode of The Excerpt.