As autumn leaves begin to turn and a refreshing chill fills the air, it’s time to set up your spooky decorations and get your costumes ready. Don’t forget to prepare some tricks and treats – what would Halloween be without some hearty laughs?

If you’re looking for funny captions for your Instagram posts or just want to have some jokes ready for trick-or-treaters, we’ve compiled a fantastic collection of funny puns, one-liners, and knock-knock jokes for October that are sure to put a smile on your face this Halloween.

Witch Jokes for Halloween

• What happened to the witch who misbehaved at school? She was ex-spelled.
• Why don’t witches wear flat caps? No point in it.
• What do you get when you combine a sorceress and a billionaire? A very witchy individual.
• Why do witches ride broomsticks? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
• How is a witch similar to a candle? They are both wicked at their core.
• Have you met the twin witches? I can’t distinguish between them!
• What did the witch do when her broomstick broke? She witch-hiked back home.
• What do witches spread on their bagels? Scream cheese.
• What do you call two witches sharing a house? Broommates.
• What is a witch’s favorite place at the beach? A sand-witch.
• What do you learn in witch school? Spelling.
• Why couldn’t the little witch read her spellbook? It was written in curse-ive.
• What does a witch enjoy reading in the news? Her horror scope.
• What sound does a witch’s cereal make? Snap, cackle, and pop.
• Heard about the witch who became a millionaire? It was a rags-to-witches story.
• How do witches enjoy loud music? On their broom boxes.
• What does a young witch bake with? An easy-bake coven.
• What do you call a witch’s tidy garage? A broom closet.
• What do witches’ cats have for breakfast? Mice crispies.

Skeleton Jokes for Halloween

• Why didn’t the skeleton join the party? He had nobody to dance with.
• How did the skeleton know rain was coming? He felt it in his bones.
• Why don’t skeletons play music in church? They lack any organs.
• Why are skeletons so relaxed? Nothing gets under their skin.
• What kind of art do skeletons appreciate? Skulltures.
• What do skeletons say before their meals? “Bone appetite.”
• What instruments do skeletons play? Trom-bone.
• Why did the skeleton stop playing football? His heart wasn’t in it.
• What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? Will you marrow me?
• Did you hear about the skeleton at the hospital? He ate a jawbreaker.
• What do you give to a skeleton trick-or-treating? Spare ribs.
• Why don’t skeletons go out in winter? The cold goes right through them.
• How does an angry skeleton confront a friend? I’ve got a bone to pick with you!
• Why did the skeleton climb the tree? A dog was after his bones.
• Why didn’t the skeleton use a towel post-shower? He was already bone-dry.

Ghost Jokes for Halloween

• What do ghosts serve as dessert? Ice scream.
• What did they say about the girl who wed a ghost? I don’t know what possessed her!
• What did the ghosts drink at their party? Ghoul-aid.
• Who protects the shores of the spirit world? The Ghost Guard.
• Why was the ghost arrested by the game warden? He didn’t possess a haunting license.
• Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up.
• What’s a ghost’s preferred vacation destination? Lake Eerie.
• What medicine do ghosts take for a cold? Coffin drops.
• Why are ghosts so timid? They have no guts.
• What’s a ghost’s favorite tune? America the Boo-tiful.
• What is a ghost’s favorite type of road? A dead end.
• What do baby ghosts enjoy drinking? Evaporated milk.
• Why did the ghost cross the street? To reach “The Other Side.”
• How do ghosts stay fit? They maintain regular exorcise.
• What makes ghosts unpopular at parties? They aren’t much to look at.
• What is a little ghost’s favorite toy? Boo-merangs.
• What’s a ghost’s top fairytale? Sleeping Boo-ty.
• What room won’t you find in a ghost’s home? A living room.
• Why did the ghost see a doctor? To get a booster shot.
• What did the ghost say when it tumbled down? I got a boo boo.
• What kind of makeup do ghosts prefer? Ma-scare-a.
• When do ghosts enjoy trick-or-treating? In the moaning.
• How do ghosts apply their makeup? They use vanishing cream.
• What occurs when a ghost gets lost in fog? He becomes mist.
• Where do baby ghosts go while their parents are at work? Day-scare.
• What’s a ghost’s favorite amusement ride? A roller ghost-er.
• How does a ghost sneeze? Ah, ah, ah BOO!

Vampire Jokes for Halloween

• • What kind of lock does Dracula use? A dead bolt.
  • What soup does a vampire prefer? Scream of tomato.
  • What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.
  • Heard about the vampire who got glasses? He was blind as a bat.
  • Why did the vampire choose acting? He wanted a role to sink his teeth into.
  • What type of candy does a vampire like? A sucker.
  • Why did the vampire need mouthwash? He had bat breath.
  • How do vampires flirt? They flutter their eyelashes.
  • What song do vampires enjoy? Another one bites the dust.
  • What’s the experience of being kissed by a vampire? It’s quite a pain in the neck.
  • Why are vampires similar to dentures? They only come out at night.
  • What beverage do vampires prefer? A Bloody Mary.
  • What makes vampires easily deceived? They are born to be gullible.
  • Why do vampire families have such strong bonds? Because blood ties are stronger than other bonds.

Monster Jokes for Halloween

• • • What snack do monsters enjoy? Ghoul Scout cookies.
    • Where do werewolves shop for Halloween candies? At the were-house.
    • How do monsters prefer their eggs? Terri-fried.
    • What happened at the werewolf party? It was a howling success.
    • What vehicle does Frankenstein drive? A monster truck.
    • What do mummies listen to during Halloween? Wrap music.
    • Why are mummy jokes not told often? They often get a bad rap.
    • What type of coffee do mummies drink? De-coffin-ated.
    • Why do mummies lack hobbies? They are too wrapped up in their work.
    • What’s a mummy’s preferred rock band? The Grateful Dead.
    • Why was the mummy imprisoned? He was involved in a pyramid scheme.
    • What card game do the deceased like to play? Gin Mummy.
    • Where do monsters enjoy hiking? Death Valley.
    • What kind of monster enjoys dancing? The boogeyman.
    • What’s the deal with a green monster? Wait until it’s ripe.
    • What do monsters put on their sandwiches? Ghoulslaw.
    • What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet.

Zombie Jokes for Halloween

• • • How do zombies contribute to their country? They serve in the Marine Corpse.
    • Who came out on top in the zombie war? No one, it ended in a dead tie!
    • Why did the zombie traverse the road? To have some chicken for dinner.
    • Where do zombies go on vacation? The Dead-iterranean Sea!
    • Why did the zombie skip breakfast? He didn’t want to be a cereal killer.
    • Why did the zombie visit the orthodontist? To get his bite improved.
    • How do zombies prepare for exams? They consume plenty of brain food.
    • What happens when you mix a zombie with a snowman? You get frostbite.
    • What do you need to become a zombie? Dead-ication.
    • What’s black, white, and lifeless all over? A zombie in formal wear.
    • Where is the safest spot during a zombie apocalypse? The living room.
    • What did the zombie say to his date? I admire women with brains.
    • How did the zombie approach his date? I’m dying to meet you.
    • Why are zombies never caught by the police? They can’t be taken alive.
    • What’s a sleepover for zombies called? A mass grave.
    • Why did the zombie munch on an archer? He was after the bone and marrow.
    • What’s a zombie’s favorite bean? A human bean.
    • What language do zombies love? Latin, since it’s a dead language.
    • What shampoo is preferred by zombies? Head and shoulders.
    • What’s the worst creature to encounter in a zombie apocalypse? A dead one.
    • A lawyer, a doctor, and a zombie walked into a bar. Three zombies walked out.

Pumpkin Jokes for Halloween

• • • What happens if you drop a pumpkin? It becomes squash.
    • Where do pumpkins gather for meetings? In the gourdroom.
    • How do pumpkins enjoy music? On vine-yl records.
    • What’s a pumpkin’s sport of choice? Squash.
    • How do you refer to an athletic pumpkin? A jock-o-lantern.
    • How do you fix a broken jack-o-lantern? With a pumpkin patch.
    • How do you use a pumpkin in ghost summoning? With a Ouija gourd.
    • What did the pumpkin say to its carver? Stop cutting it out!
    • What’s a pumpkin’s favorite film? “Pulp Fiction.”
    • What do you call a pumpkin that works at the shore? A life gourd.
    • Who assisted the pumpkin in crossing the street? The crossing gourd.
    • Why did the jack-o-lantern have a poor memory? Because it was empty-headed!

Other Halloween-Related Jokes

• • • Why did the scarecrow fail in comedy? His jokes were too corny.
    • Why did the scarecrow receive a Nobel Prize? He was outstanding in his area.
    • Who manages the haunted house for scarecrows? The first little pig.
    • What type of bear lacks teeth? A gummy bear.
    • What do you call a cow that can’t moo? A Milk Dud.
    • How do you refer to two married spiders? The newly webs.
    • What makes spiders good baseball players? They know how to catch flies.
    • What kind of television is found in a haunted house? A wide-scream TV.
    • Why is there a fence around the cemetery? Because everyone is dying to enter.
    • What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa.
    • Who oversees the candy corn? The kernel.

Halloween Knock-Knock Jokes

• • • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ivana. Ivana who? Ivana suck your blood.
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Fangs. Fangs who? Fangs for letting me in!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry! Halloween is almost here.
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Philip. Philip who? Philip my bag with candy!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Aida. Aida who? Aida lot of candy and now my stomach aches.
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo who? Voodoo you think you are?
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Diane. Diane who? Diane to meet you!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Norway. Norway who? Norway I’m leaving without candy!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Candy cow jump over the moon?
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Handsome. Handsome who? Handsome candy, please!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Eddie. Eddie who? Eddie body home? It’s Halloween!
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn’t mention zombie?
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Candy. Candy who? Can you open this door any slower?
    • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Al. Al who? Al trade you a Kit Kat for a Milky Way.