We did it, America! We have officially placed a convicted felon in the presidency.

This must be a huge relief for Republicans, who can finally discard those annoying labels of being the “party of family values” and “party of law and order.” President-elect Donald Trump received his sentence on Friday for falsifying business records to hide a hush money payment made to an adult film star.

In just under two weeks, the newly convicted felon, sporting a bright “F” for felon, will confidently walk into the White House, proving once again that those who refuse to take responsibility can still get ahead.

Trump’s sentencing suggests Republicans support giving felons opportunities

For years, Democrats have battled Republicans over harsh sentencing laws and the principle that individuals with criminal backgrounds deserve a second chance after serving their sentences. While Trump won’t serve time due to his unconditional discharge, he has been found guilty of 34 felony charges, showing that Republicans are now champions of second chances for criminals.

This is commendable. It seems reasonable to assume that going forward, felony convictions will no longer hinder job seekers at any level. After all, it would be hypocritical for Republicans to suggest Trump’s situation – which involved a trial and conviction by a jury – is different from the millions of Americans facing similar felony convictions, right?

Trump claims he ‘did nothing wrong’ – classic felon language!

If those with felony convictions assert their innocence and insist they’ve done nothing wrong, Republicans are expected to support them, right? As Trump proclaimed during his sentencing: “I am completely innocent. I did nothing wrong.”

And now he can take the presidency of the United States! The case is settled. This must be the new normal, but I’m leaving it to Republican lawmakers and voters to twist themselves into logical knots if they disagree.

At least Republicans can cease pretending to have high moral standards

Besides their newfound support for progressive criminal justice reform, I congratulate Republicans for finally abandoning any pretense of morality.

Trump’s conviction was connected to hush money given to Stormy Daniels, who claimed they had an affair in 2006, just months after Melania Trump gave birth. Regardless of opinions about the verdict or Trump’s denial of the affair, the payment itself has never been disputed.

With Trump’s conviction and his impending arrival at the White House, I can only assume that the party which has wielded morality as a weapon against LGBTQ+ individuals, abortion rights, and even children’s literature will either remain silent or be submerged by their own opportunism.

Trump’s sentencing is truly a significant moment for all Americans

That’s who you stand by, Republicans. The man with 34 felony charges for falsifying business records to conceal a hush.

Monetary compensation for the lead in iconic movies such as “Happy Endings” and “Stormy and Her Horny Friends.”

Perhaps you could return our LGBTQ+ penguin literature to the library and take a moment to reflect on your actions?

The rest of us will be here celebrating your new commitment to aiding the rehabilitation of former offenders and the opportunities it will create for countless Americans who believe the legal system has wronged them.