Christina Haack has faced some tough lessons about marriage. The “Flip or Flop” star, who is 41 years old, shared her experiences on “Jeff Lewis Live” this week, reflecting on her marriage of less than three years to Josh Hall, from whom she separated seven months ago.

“We don’t get along,” she confessed, explaining to host Jeff Lewis that they tied the knot quickly after just eight months of dating. Christina was previously married to Ant Anstead and Tarek El Moussa, with whom she has children.

“I learned a lot, and they are significant lessons,” Haack said. “I really feel them this time. It will not happen again.”

Experts suggest that the length of time a couple has known each other can influence the success of a marriage, a concept related to the limerence theory. This term was introduced by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979 to characterize the initial stage of love.

Cynthia Catchings, a licensed clinical social worker, explained to YSL News that this stage is quite similar to the “honeymoon phase,” but it involves a stronger chemical component.

“Your brain releases various chemicals, like dopamine, which makes you feel a deep attachment to someone,” she elaborated.

The ‘Passion’ and ‘Intensity’ of Limerence

During the limerence stage, there’s an overwhelming sense of “passion” and “intensity,” according to Dr. Megan Fleming, a clinical psychologist specializing in sex therapy and marriage counseling. “It can also bring feelings of infatuation, obsession, and an urge to be constantly near that person.”

Limerence generally lasts for about six months to a year, but it can extend to three years, according to Fleming. This stage can significantly distort reality.

“When you fall in love, especially during limerence, the truth is that you don’t truly know the other person. It’s largely a projection,” she noted. “You become caught up in the idea and the obsession rather than knowing the reality. Much of limerence is based on fantasy.”

That’s why it is crucial to really get to know someone before making a life commitment.

“You should date someone long enough to witness the good and the bad – to see how they handle challenges, disappointments, and conflicts,” she said. “You won’t truly understand what that person is like until you move past that burst of chemicals.”

While the limerence phase can distort perceptions, it serves a purpose.

“Without limerence, forming relationships would be tough,” Catchings explained. “You meet someone you really like, and that emotional and physical attraction helps you bond and engage in activities you might not consider with others.”

Key Considerations Before Marriage

Though the duration of the relationship and the limerence phase can impact marital success, Catchings emphasizes there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline.

“Most of us experience a limerence period but often there isn’t a definitive right or wrong,” she said, adding that typically couples date three to five years before getting engaged. “I’ve had clients who dated for two months before marrying and have had successful 15-20 year unions, while others dated for five to ten years and divorced within a year.” Haack’s previous marriages to Anstead and El Moussa lasted about two years and seven years, respectively.

Instead of fixating on a rigid timeline, Catchings recommends spending quality time together prior to making a commitment to build a strong foundation, especially regarding sensitive topics such as intimacy, finances, and parenting. Experts note that these are common areas where married couples seek therapy.

“During the peak of limerence, couples may enjoy great intimacy. However, many couples experience mismatched sexual desires,” Fleming mentioned. “When that initial chemical high fades, one partner might feel misled, leading to disillusionment once the limerence bubble bursts.”

Whether facing intimacy issues or others, Catchings states that most problems stem from poor communication.

Taking the time to establish fundamental elements like commitment, communication, and the capacity for difficult discussions is essential for a thriving relationship, even in challenging times, Fleming advises.

Contributing: Sara M. Moniusko