Are fishing pictures associated with conservative beliefs? Does someone with blue hair also lean left politically?

These are the kinds of questions that many singles consider while navigating the complex world of online dating. On dating apps, users often search for hints about each other’s political opinions, especially after elections.

Some individuals go to great lengths to mask their true political views—at least that’s the perception. In various liberal circles, for instance, many assume that those claiming to be “moderate” are secretly conservative.

One Twitter user remarked, “Every year, we remind ourselves that ‘Moderate’ and ‘Apolitical’ on dating apps are just codes for being conservative but embarrassed about it.” Another added, “We can all agree that when someone labels themselves as ‘moderate’ on a dating site, it typically indicates a conservative who wants to avoid alienating feminists.” Yet another stated, “‘Politically moderate’ on profiles translates to MAGA.”

Dating professionals argue that being truthful is the best approach when seeking a relationship. Making assumptions about someone’s beliefs based on limited details can be unjust. A person who identifies as “moderate” might genuinely hold centrist views.

“To me, dating profiles feel like another form of social media,” states Sara Nasserzadeh, a social psychologist and author of “Love by Design: 6 Ingredients to Build a Lifetime of Love.” She adds, “If a person’s political stance isn’t clear and this is significant to you, it’s definitely worth bringing it up in the early dates.”

Why some individuals hide their political views on dating platforms

Politics has increasingly become a sensitive subject in dating. Many people are reluctant to date those with opposing political views. According to a 2020 Pew Research study, 71% of Democrats believe they would probably or definitely not date someone who voted for Trump. Around 47% of Republicans stated they probably or definitely would avoid dating someone who voted for Biden.

Amy Chan, a dating coach and author of “Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart,” suspects that this divide has grown larger since Trump’s re-election, possibly pushing more users to misrepresent their beliefs on dating apps.

She explains, “Some individuals identify as moderate while being conservative because they fear bias against conservatives on these platforms. This is akin to why some men might lie about their height—they don’t want to be dismissed and are seeking a broader dating range.”

However, Chan advises against misrepresenting oneself regarding political views, height, or any other personal attributes, as this leads to complications later on.

If political alignment is essential to you, the most effective approach is to directly inquire about your date’s beliefs. If you’re uncertain about their claim of being “moderate,” don’t hesitate to ask for clarification.

“If they refer to themselves as moderate, it opens the door for discussion: ‘You mentioned being moderate; could you elaborate on that?’ Remember, this shouldn’t feel like an interrogation,” Nasserzadeh notes. “It’s vital that you also share your own views willingly.”

Does political compatibility matter in dating?

The political distinctions in dating preferences prompt an important question: Is it important to share political beliefs with a partner for a successful relationship?

The answer varies. For some people, politics may not carry much weight. However, if you hold strong political views that matter deeply to you, it’s crucial to communicate that with your partner.

More than political alignment, core values are often what truly matter, according to Chan.

Thinking about what you value can assist someone who dates in identifying which political discussions they can accept differing opinions on and which ones are absolute deal-breakers. For example, you may be okay with your partner’s differing view on taxes, but sharing similar beliefs about abortion may be essential for you.

“Relationships can flourish between individuals with opposing political beliefs if they share core values on critical matters,” states Chan. “It’s vital to pinpoint which specific issues are non-negotiable for you and where you can accept differing opinions.”

Chan emphasizes that numerous couples with opposing political views maintain thriving relationships, largely due to mutual respect and effective communication. She suggests strategies for sustaining these interactions, such as defining clear limits around political dialogues, taking breaks when discussions escalate, and steering clear of personal attacks on the other’s character or ethics.

“Many couples vote differently,” she continues. “While this dynamic can be intricate and emotionally charged, it also presents an opportunity to enhance communication skills.”

If you’re on a date and uncertain about the compatibility of your political values, Chan suggests asking thoughtful questions to respectfully initiate the discussion. Rather than directly asking, “Who did you vote for?” consider exploring someone’s deeper beliefs, such as their role models and the reasons behind their admiration.

“The objective is to grasp a person’s true values and convictions instead of assuming based on labels or superficial indicators,” she advises.

Most importantly, it’s essential to recognize that the person you’re dating is a multifaceted individual. If you discover that your political disagreements are too considerable for a romantic relationship, that’s perfectly fine—just move on respectfully.

“Don’t belittle the other person’s beliefs,” Nasserzadeh advises. “Instead, see them as a person with their own set of beliefs, and that’s acceptable.”