Researchers have previously looked into how feeling appreciated by romantic partners enhances the quality of relationships. A recent study has expanded on this idea, revealing that perceived gratitude is also beneficial in parent-child dynamics and can positively influence mental well-being.
You’ve probably come across the idea that practicing gratitude can enhance your happiness. In the context of marriages and families, it’s not only about being grateful towards your loved ones, but also about being aware of their appreciation for you. A team from the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign previously investigated the beneficial effects of feeling appreciated by romantic partners on relationship quality. Their latest research indicates that these advantages extend to parent-child interactions and contribute positively to individual mental health.
“In my earlier studies, I’ve examined gratitude in personal relationships, especially among couples, and discovered that it significantly influences various relationship aspects. Those who feel valued by their partners experience greater confidence, satisfaction, commitment, and lesser anxiety about relationship instability,” explained lead author Allen Barton, who is an Illinois Extension specialist and an assistant professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies within the College of Agricultural, Consumer and Environmental Sciences at Illinois.
“For this study, we aimed to investigate the concept of perceived gratitude in a wider family context and its impact on individual and relationship well-being, as well as parenting outcomes.”
The study analyzed data from a nationwide sample of 593 parents who were either married or in a romantic relationship and had at least one child aged between 4 and 17. Participants responded to inquiries regarding how appreciated they felt by their spouse or partner, their children, and also assessed their psychological distress, parenting stress, and relationship satisfaction.
The researchers categorized children into two age groups—4 to 12 and 13 to 18—to address developmental variations. Barton noted that teenagers might be more observant of family dynamics and their parents’ roles in their well-being, while younger children can still express gratitude in their unique ways.
Barton and co-author Qiujie Gong, who was a doctoral student in HDFS during the study, discovered that feeling appreciated by romantic partners led to healthier couple outcomes but did not affect parenting stress levels. On the other hand, perceived gratitude from children—both younger and older—was linked to reduced parenting stress, though it did not influence couple relationship satisfaction. Additionally, gratitude received from romantic partners and older children was found to positively correlate with individuals’ psychological well-being.
Women reported feeling less appreciated than men from both their romantic partners and older children. Moreover, higher levels of perceived gratitude from children were shown to benefit women exclusively. This aligns with prior findings that women’s contributions to the family often go less noticed by men, as Barton pointed out.
“It’s never truly equal in any relationship, with parents often contributing more than their children. Nonetheless, our results emphasize the importance of acknowledging and valuing individual efforts within the family. Conversely, lacking appreciation from family members can lead to detrimental effects for everyone involved,” he remarked.
Barton encouraged parents to nurture a culture of gratitude within the family.
“As partners, we can openly express our gratitude to one another, and we should guide our children in showing appreciation in ways that are suitable for their development. For instance, if you observe your partner doing something helpful for your child, you can prompt the child to say, ‘Thank you, mom’ or ‘Thanks, dad’ for the assistance. This approach can cultivate a consistent mindset and pattern of interactions that support both giving and receiving gratitude at home,” he advised.
The research indicated no substantial differences in socio-demographic factors affecting perceived gratitude within various family structures, suggesting uniformity across diverse family types.
“As someone focused on family-centered prevention initiatives, I’m always seeking evidence-based strategies to strengthen families, and expressing gratitude stands out as a crucial method,” Barton concluded.
“Building a ‘family’ involves a considerable effort—parenting, partnerships, couple dynamics, and so on—for every family. When those contributions go unrecognized or undervalued, it adversely affects both individuals and families. We understand the significance of expressing thanks in couples, and this research emphasizes its importance in parent-child relationships too.”
