When a woman asserts herself and expects equal treatment without accepting disrespect, she’s often labeled as “difficult.”

This is essentially a euphemism for calling her a bitch.

Though such language is frowned upon in society, the term difficult serves as a coded message. It subtly indicates that the woman has stepped out of her expected role, without outright revealing one’s own bias.

However, every woman who hears it understands its true meaning.

As women increasingly take center stage in society − with a surge of interest in women’s sports, Kamala Harris potentially becoming the first female president, and figures like Taylor Swift and Beyoncé boosting the economy − we are compelled to reassess how we describe women, especially the negative labels applied to them.

“This term is used to keep women down. I find it offensive,” stated Cheryl Reeve, who has been labeled “difficult” multiple times while successfully coaching the Minnesota Lynx to four WNBA championships and leading the U.S. women’s team to gold at the recent Paris Olympics.

“Men need to be more aware of how their words affect others, whether referring to me in the WNBA or to Sally at her accounting job,” Reeve continued. “It’s unacceptable for men to call women difficult just because they are self-assured or perceived as aggressive, when men act similarly without consequence.”

“It’s a double standard.”

This constant scrutiny of women’s behavior is tiring. We are told to be friendly but not overly so, to work hard without seeming too ambitious, to be strong yet still express gratitude, and to be nurturing while brushing off insults and condescension.

And heaven forbid we don’t smile.

“It’s really about controlling their status, suppressing their power to maintain the current order,” explained Cheryl Cooky, a professor at Purdue University who examines the interplay of gender, sport, and culture.

We are sick of this. More importantly, we are done accepting it. This is why the rise of women’s sports is significant, showcasing a wave of strong women where competitiveness and assertiveness are not just valued, but essential.

This is also why many women resonated with Vice President Kamala Harris’ reaction to claims she wasn’t “humble” — a term often used to insinuate being a bitch.

“Many women are not striving for humility,” said the Democratic presidential candidate during a recent guest spot on the “Call Her Daddy” podcast.

This does not imply there is a surge of arrogant women or those who disregard their impact on others. It simply reflects that there are women proud of their abilities, intellect, and leadership, who will not downplay their strengths to make others comfortable.

As more prominent women − like Swift, Beyoncé, the entire WNBA, and the U.S. women’s national soccer team − join Harris and Reeve in living unapologetically, it sends a strong message. Women who have endured disrespect quietly, and those who have used the term “difficult” without recognizing its harm, are put on alert.

And most importantly, it challenges those who wish to keep women under patriarchal control.

“Representation matters. When you see someone else in a powerful position, it says, ‘You’re not alone,’” Cooky remarked. “If Kamala Harris or Cheryl Reeve face these issues, it’s both reassuring and frustrating at the same time.”

“Such visibility encourages a culture where women can speak out or address these issues when they arise in their own environments. It provides a sense of permission to say, ‘No, this is not acceptable.’”

For far too long, women have tiptoed around the feelings of powerful figures, almost all of whom are men. We’ve muted our voices and ambitions to avoid being silenced. We’ve tolerated small indignities in hope that they might one day lead to significant changes.

Yet, we are finished diminishing ourselves to soothe the insecurities or perceived privileges of others.

“One thing Bill Laimbeer taught me — easily said for him as a former NBA player — is that you can’t coach with a fear of losing your job. You mustn’t fear it,” Reeve expressed earlier this week. “But the message I took was to have confidence in who you are and what you do; just be yourself.”

Not so difficult after all.