Filmmaker Joel Souza is addressing the tragic shooting incident that occurred on the set of “Rust” for the first time.

In a recent exclusive conversation with Vanity Fair, the director discussed the 2021 incident in New Mexico, where a gun held by actor and producer Alec Baldwin malfunctioned, injuring Souza and fatally wounding their colleague, cinematographer Halyna Hutchins.

“It’s strange to be shot,” Souza expressed. “And to consider who was holding the gun? That’s really odd. I had this surreal thought, remembering watching ‘The Hunt for Red October’ as a child. It’s like, your older self is giving your younger self a heads up, ‘Hey, that person… one day…'”

He added, “Life can lead you down some very unusual paths.” This was Souza’s first public comment on the tragedy, although he had worked with law enforcement during their investigation.

“Saying it ruined me doesn’t mean it destroyed my career,” Souza clarified during the interview. “What I mean is, the person I was inside is gone. That version of myself just vanished.”

He described the shocking experience of being shot, explaining that it “felt like a horse kicked my shoulder or like being struck with a bat. The entire right side of my body went completely numb, yet it was excruciatingly painful at the same time, if that makes sense.”

The interview revealed intense feelings from Souza about the aftermath of the shooting, including his honest reflection that he was “not really” grateful to have survived.

“That night, I specifically remember going to sleep hoping I wouldn’t wake up. I thought maybe I just wouldn’t stop bleeding overnight, as I didn’t want to be here anymore. It was an incredibly challenging period,” he recounted. “I remember thinking, ‘Maybe I can just fade away; that would be okay with me.’

Joel Souza Commends Halyna Hutchins’ Husband Matt for His ‘Goodness’ After the Shooting

In the course of the interview, Souza focused on the grief concerning Hutchins, indicating that discussing specifics about her death wasn’t his place. “Halyna is part of other people’s families. While she was my friend, she also has a husband, son, and parents. Those matters are best left for them to address,” he stated.

On October 21, 2021, law enforcement responded to reports of a shooting on the film set, discovering both Hutchins, aged 42, and Souza, aged 48, injured. Hutchins was airlifted to the University of New Mexico Hospital, where she was later pronounced dead, according to the Santa Fe County Sheriff’s Office.

Souza publicly praised Hutchins’ husband, Matt, during his Vanity Fair interview, acknowledging his remarkable “goodness” amidst the tragedy, highlighting how he supported both him and Baldwin, as well as the entire crew, after the incident. He reflected that if he were in Matt’s shoes, he “would be lashing out in all directions.”

“This man is incredibly high-caliber when it comes to integrity and emotional intelligence,” Souza remarked in response to critics of the cinematographer’s husband.

Joel Souza is ‘not friends’ with Alec Baldwin, who was ‘a wreck’ afterward

‘Rust’ Shooting

He commented on his connection with Baldwin, stating, “We’re neither friends nor enemies. There simply is no relationship.” He recounted how Baldwin visited him the day after the incident, describing Baldwin as being emotionally distraught, remarking, “how could you not be?”

YSL News has contacted Baldwin’s representative for a statement.

Following a criminal trial in New Mexico, Baldwin resumed his role on the set of “Rust.” Souza is also back to work on the film, which is now being marketed to U.S. distributors, as reported by Vanity Fair.

Last month, a charge of involuntary manslaughter related to the alleged incident was unexpectedly dismissed on July 12 by First Judicial District Judge Mary Marlowe Summer, citing that prosecutors and law enforcement had withheld evidence potentially beneficial to Baldwin’s defense. This surprising decision took the public by storm.

In June, TLC announced a reality show called “The Baldwins,” which will feature the well-known actor Alec Baldwin, his wife Hilaria Baldwin (who has also attracted her share of controversy), along with their seven children. According to a network press release, the show promises “endless love, laughter, and drama.”