The more preoccupied men are with projecting a masculine image, the less likely they are to forgive a colleague for mistakes such as missing a key meeting, according to a recent study. Additionally, these men tend to seek revenge or shun the individual who wronged them, leading to a toxic and dysfunctional workplace environment.
Forgiveness allows individuals to progress and lays the groundwork for a better future. In professional settings, forgiveness fosters healthier and more productive teams, especially when minor mistakes occur and collaboration is crucial. However, a man’s perception of his masculinity can hinder his capacity to forgive, as demonstrated by a study from Michael Haselhuhn, an associate professor of management at UC Riverside.
The study indicates that men who are focused on demonstrating their masculinity are less inclined to forgive a colleague for errors, such as skipping a vital meeting, because they consider forgiveness to be a trait associated with femininity, according to Haselhuhn and his co-author, Margaret E. Ormiston from George Washington University.
Moreover, men who are reluctant to forgive are more prone to seek revenge or avoid the offender, which further deteriorates the work atmosphere, the research shows. Additionally, they tend to label forgiving men as less masculine.
On a positive note, Haselhuhn and Ormiston discovered that a brief intervention could lessen the negative impact of masculinity concerns on forgiveness. Participants sensitive about their masculinity showed a greater willingness to forgive after reflecting on experiences where they felt genuinely masculine.
The researchers commenced the study acknowledging that men generally exhibit lower levels of forgiveness compared to women, and that those who do exhibit forgiveness often display warmer, more communal, and nurturing behaviors—traits typically seen as feminine, noted Haselhuhn from UCR’s School of Business.
“Our hypothesis was that forgiveness carries certain gendered connotations, and individuals who forgive may be viewed as more feminine and less masculine,” Haselhuhn explained. “Therefore, men who are heavily invested in demonstrating their masculinity may be the least inclined to forgive.”
The study involved over 800 participants engaged in various tasks. To determine their sense of masculinity, researchers had participants evaluate the stress levels associated with scenarios that could threaten their manhood, such as having their partner earn more or losing a sporting event, or allowing their child to witness them cry.
Participants were then presented with situations where a colleague made a mistake, like missing a critical meeting that led to the client seeking services elsewhere, and were asked if they would forgive the colleague. As expected, those most worried about upholding their masculinity were notably less forgiving.
“The stronger their concerns about maintaining masculinity,” Haselhuhn stated, “the more they desired to retaliate against the colleague, which is detrimental in a workplace. They also preferred to steer clear of the colleague.”
However, men focused on their masculinity became more forgiving when first given the opportunity to recount two experiences where they felt authentically masculine. Stories emerged relating to athletic victories, outperforming rivals, and showcasing sexual prowess.
Interestingly, men who were tasked with recalling ten such masculine anecdotes struggled to remember so many, became somewhat frustrated, and remained significantly less forgiving compared to those who only needed to share two, as the researchers found.
The study, titled “Fragility and Forgiveness: Masculinity Concerns Affect Men’s Willingness to Forgive,” was published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. It contributes to a growing body of research aimed at enhancing interpersonal relations, according to Haselhuhn.
“Practicing forgiveness not only boosts your mental health,” Haselhuhn emphasized. “It enhances physical well-being too. Clearly, it strengthens relationships with others, as opposed to seeking revenge on those who have wronged you or ignoring them altogether. The benefits of forgiveness are substantial.”
