When young kids display difficult behavior, many parents tend to resort to threats, ranging from the possibility of losing their toys to the fear of Santa skipping their home, according to a national survey.
When young children’s behavior becomes challenging, many parents resort to threats — from taking away toys to threatening that Santa will skip their house, a national poll suggests.
The survey conducted by the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital found that parents of children aged three to five most frequently reported using threats to manage misbehavior, with around 25% admitting to threatening their child with a lack of Santa or gifts.
In addition, some parents have threatened to leave a situation, remove toys, or skip dessert, while close to half of the parents surveyed indicated they have used bribes.
“Discipline is vital for young children as it teaches them safe and suitable behaviors, helping them distinguish between right and wrong,” stated Dr. Susan Woolford, a pediatrician and co-director of the Mott Poll.
“However, making empty threats can damage trust and credibility and are often ineffective. Positive reinforcement along with consistent discipline is more likely to influence long-lasting behavioral change.”
Consistency is key
According to the report, which reflects responses from 725 parents of children aged one to five collected in August, although half of parents feel they are consistently applying discipline, many acknowledge finding it challenging to maintain that consistency.
Main challenges include a child’s lack of understanding, ineffective strategies and the desire to avoid public outbursts.
Nearly 25% of parents reported feeling too frustrated when their child misbehaves, reacting impulsively or being too fatigued to stick with their discipline strategies.
“Maintaining a consistent discipline strategy can be tough without proper thought and preparation — and even with planning, it can be hard, especially when parents are feeling tired, distracted, or overwhelmed,” Woolford explained.
“It is crucial for parents to prepare in advance and agree on discipline tactics to create a solid foundation for expectations and to prevent mixed messages regarding boundaries.”
Parents may need guidance finding the best discipline strategies
Many parents expressed uncertainty about the effectiveness of their discipline methods, with approximately 40% considering them very effective, while 60% think they are somewhat effective.
Most parents surveyed also sought advice on discipline from various sources, including discussions with the other parent, family and friends, or through parenting literature and social media.
However, fewer than 20% have talked about discipline with a healthcare provider, and one in eight parents reported they haven’t contemplated their discipline methods at all.
Some parents also acknowledged using discipline techniques that experts advise against, with two out of five occasionally resorting to spanking, a practice linked to increased defiance and aggression among preschool and school-aged children.
“Parents should resist the urge to use methods that might bring immediate compliance but could have detrimental effects in the long run,” Woolford advised.
“Discipline practices should match the child’s age and developmental stage.”
For younger children aged one to two, distraction and redirection generally yield the best results, as children at this age are exploring their surroundings and deliberate misconduct is infrequent. In fact, parents of this age group were more inclined to use redirection as a tactic.
Once children reach age two, they begin to grasp the impact of their actions on others and may start to test boundaries. Parents of children aged three to five reported using warnings, firm communication, and timeouts more frequently.
During preschool years, Woolford emphasizes that discipline strategies should highlight logical consequences for misbehavior. For instance, if a child spills a drink due to anger, they should be tasked with cleaning up the mess, as this teaches them accountability, whereas unrelated punishments tend to be ineffective.
“Consequences must be immediate so that the child can link them to their misbehavior,” she noted.
She also highlighted that children may respond differently to various discipline approaches, so parents should remain adaptable.
“As children mature, their responses to discipline will evolve, so it’s essential for parents to modify their techniques and be open to new methods,” she said.
“Combining corrective measures with positive reinforcement — such as praise and rewards — supports children in building self-esteem while they learn from their missteps.”
