A trending TikTok phenomenon dubbed “pink tote lid moments” is revealing a more serious aspect of social media, as users share harrowing childhood experiences.

The trend features videos where individuals recount traumatic experiences, including issues like eating disorders and physical abuse by parents. Mostly shared by young women, these clips often consist of extensive on-screen text accompanied by Billie Eilish’s melancholic song, “What Was I Made For?”

Mental health professionals express concern that young people sharing these stories online may become “highly vulnerable to responses from strangers,” which could result in secondary trauma or revictimization for others.

Dr. Willough Jenkins, a child psychiatrist and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Diego, first learned about this trend on Monday.

“Initially, the examples were lighter and less serious,” Jenkins explained, mentioning a scenario where a child was simply told to tidy up their shoes. “However, within a week, the trend has shifted significantly towards more severe content. The videos I’ve seen recently involve individuals talking about profoundly traumatic and abusive experiences.”

How did the ‘pink tote lid moments’ trend begin?

This trend gained momentum earlier this week when a teenage girl recorded a video in a dimly lit room, softly speaking to the camera. In her video, she recounted a tense moment where her mom insisted she help move “pink tote lids” into her room while banging on the bathroom door.

As the girl described, her mother initially asked her to move to “pink things” to her room; when she sought clarification, her mother became frustrated, raised her voice, and used profanity. Upon hearing the commotion, the girl’s father entered and admonished her not to “talk back” to her mother.

“They were both yelling at me,” she recounted in the video, her breathing shaky and eyes filled with tears.

The original video has been deleted, but many TikTok accounts have since reposted or “stitched” it, making it accessible again.

In another video released this week, the same girl clarified that her mother is “not abusive,” and revealed that she didn’t anticipate her initial video receiving so much attention.

Reactions from TikTok moms

Content creator Nicki Marie, known as Nicki Unplugged, shared a video that has attracted over 253,000 views as of Friday afternoon.

“I’m not condoning it, but those of you tuning in and thinking, ‘Oh my God, I’ve snapped at my kid before,’ should realize other factors often contribute to those moments,” she stated. “While I don’t support yelling at kids, we can’t adopt gentle parenting 24/7 if some of our children aren’t naturally gentle.”

According to Jenkins, what Nicki Marie describes—shifting frustration from one person to another—is known as “displacement.” This is particularly common among stressed parents.

Data from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services indicates that 48% of parents reported feeling overwhelmed by stress on most days in 2023.

“If we look at the lighter examples shared, it’s essential to acknowledge those moments, validate the child’s feelings, and apologize when necessary to mend the relationship,” Jenkins advised.

What are experts saying?

The “pink tote lid moment” movement provides a valuable chance for families to engage in discussions about mental health, Jenkins stated. It allows young people to feel acknowledged, which is often the first step towards seeking help for their mental health. However, sensitive topics can quickly be sensationalized on social media.

“Especially for minors, sharing these experiences so publicly makes them very vulnerable to responses from random individuals,” Jenkins emphasized.

Amy Hill, Executive Vice President of Learning and Development at Burrell Behavioral Health, highlighted her major concerns about the trend: “unintentional” secondary trauma, where someone feels emotional distress after hearing others discuss their trauma, and the idea of revictimization, where someone who has already experienced trauma relives it through external discussions.

Experiencing trauma can lead to feelings of being retraumatized, especially when others share their similar experiences.

How Can Parents Help?

According to Hill, one of the first steps for parents in guiding their children towards appropriate online content is to restrict their screen time. She recommends a maximum of two hours daily. It’s crucial for parents to educate their kids about the effects of consuming social media content.

Regarding mental health issues, Hill mentioned that students might initially feel supported by speaking to a school counselor. However, seeking help from a qualified mental health professional is the most effective way to deal with trauma.

If you or someone you know may be a victim of domestic violence, please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-8233, or text “BEGIN” to 88788. For crisis support, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline can be reached at 988.