Bethany Joy Lenz never intended to join a cult. After all, who does?

The former “One Tree Hill” actress reveals that she became involved with the “Big House Family,” the religious cult featured in her upcoming memoir “Dinner for Vampires,” which is set for release on Tuesday (Simon & Schuster, 303 pp). She spent 10 years in the group during her time on the popular teen drama. This shocking revelation often prompts reactions like: “Wait, the actress who played Haley in ‘One Tree Hill’ was in a cult?!” “Was it like NXIVM?” “What transpired?”

In her book, she writes: “Bible study took a wrong turn.”

At 43, Lenz discussed her experiences on the “Drama Queens” podcast, which revisits “One Tree Hill.” Her revelations caught the attention of a publisher, leading her to share her story openly.

“It wasn’t too painful at first because I hardly had time to process everything emotionally,” she admits during a Zoom interview from Nashville. “The difficult part came later, after I had submitted the initial draft and started refining it. That’s when the emotions hit me hard. There were days when I thought, ‘I need a break. I can’t stay in this headspace any longer. I need to go out for a drink or just do something normal.'”

Her calm demeanor is evident as she speaks. She continues to grapple with “trust issues,” complicating her relationships with her daughter, boyfriend, and parents. “It’s a lot to work through, but I’m grateful for the journey,” she states.

‘That was the turning point’

Lenz grew up as an only child in a charismatic Protestant household. With her parents’ divorce and her rising career in Hollywood, including her role on “Guiding Light,” she yearned for connection and a sense of community among fellow Christians.

“It started very innocently,” she recalls. “It was just a group of artists who loved God and wanted to study the Bible together. I felt relief, thinking, ‘Finally, I’ve found what I’ve been missing.’ But then a pastor from another state joined, gradually taking control over the group.

“That was the turning point,” she notes about the unnamed pastor in her memoir. “It happened so gradually that I didn’t even realize it at first.”

Through various manipulations, Lenz found herself increasingly isolated from loved ones, including her parents. The group crushed her Broadway aspirations of playing Belle in “Beauty and the Beast,” and their financial decisions led to her losing $2 million. Speculation about her life circulated on the “One Tree Hill” set and in Hollywood. She married the leader’s son, fully aware he wasn’t the right match for her, and gave birth to a daughter.

Over the course of ten years, Lenz gradually liberated herself from the group’s control. Having the freedom to step away during filming, along with emotional support from friends and family, played a vital role in her recovery. The desire to shield her daughter from experiencing a similar fate ultimately prompted her to leave.

‘There were some unexpected benefits’

How does she make sense of her journey? Reflecting on her missed opportunities on Broadway, she believes that perhaps it was for the best because “I lacked the maturity and character to handle such a career. I might have developed a terrible reputation due to my inexperience and selfishness. The ten years I spent on ‘One Tree Hill’ taught me invaluable lessons about friendship and being part of a community, even with all the awful times I went through in the cult.

Is she truly finding a positive aspect in this?

“In a strange way, there were many beneficial moments to emerge from it, with my life eventually recalibrating from one extreme to a balanced point.”

‘Maybe it will help someone’

In rebuilding her life, Lenz found financial stability and independence through various acting roles, taking on gigs to cover her living expenses, legal fees, and taxes.

“I felt like a struggling single mother in LA after my decade on a TV show,” she reflects. “While it was tough on my ego, it was also a necessary part of my journey.”

It was challenging for me, especially because I have a strong creative side. My dream was to generate income through my creative works to finance my personal projects or take breaks to concentrate on writing without the pressure of work, particularly regarding my custody situation.

One of the roles I took on was a guest appearance on “Grey’s Anatomy,” where I portrayed a victim of domestic violence. The show’s creator, Krista Vernoff, was aware of my past experiences.

“Even though she understood that my ex never physically harmed me, she recognized that I had faced relational abuse. She felt I could connect with the character who was about to have a storyline on ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ She reached out and asked if this was too personal for me or if I would like to give it a shot. I responded enthusiastically, saying, ‘Yes, please! This could be a great way for me to process some of my feelings, and I believe I can tell this story in a genuine way that might resonate with someone else.’

Bethany Joy Lenz on embracing her younger self

With a ‘One Tree Hill’ revival being planned alongside Sophia Bush and Hilarie Burton, Lenz is open to the idea of returning to her character.

For now, her answer remains ambiguous: “‘Tree Hill’ will always feel like home to me, and I love revisiting it. I’m definitely open to it. There are just many logistical factors that need to align.

Participating in the “Drama Queens” podcast and documenting her journey has profoundly helped her heal in unique, almost dreamlike ways.

“It’s been a remarkable opportunity to revisit a period in my life that I used to regard with a lot of shame and to learn to appreciate my younger self,” she shares.