While romantic relationships have their perks, long-lasting friendships bring their own unique charm – delightful gossip, cherished inside jokes, and a deep-seated comfort born from years of trust. But what occurs when these friendships shift, resulting in unread texts, unreturned calls, and the absence of likes on social media posts?

A trending topic on TikTok involves individuals deciding to “stop running from it,” signifying moments when after a social gathering, one realizes their friendships are no longer a fit – possibly reflecting a broader emotional avoidance.

If this resonates with you, don’t fret; experts in friendship acknowledge that it’s entirely normal for these bonds to change over time. However, be aware of certain indicators that it might be time to either pause or completely end a friendship.

“Friendships, like all relationships, require effort from both sides,” notes Carla Marie Manly, host of the podcast “Imperfect Love” and author of “The Joy of Imperfect Love.” “If both individuals aren’t committed to nurturing the relationship, it will inevitably deteriorate.”

Identifying Strained Friendships

Outgrowing a friendship can sometimes be straightforward: you simply don’t feel like seeing that person. “A key sign of outgrowing a friendship is losing interest in meeting up,” explains Manly. “This indifference can gradually evolve into clear avoidance.” It’s possible that this friend seems to drain your energy, especially if you’re always the one reaching out, or maybe they simply aren’t as enjoyable to be around. Alternatively, you could realize you share very little in common.

These changes often occur with those we have known for a long time. Some individuals remain stagnant while expecting the same from friendships, while others continue to evolve, seeking deeper connections.

You may still have strong feelings for a friend but find yourself unwilling or unable to invest significant time in the relationship. That’s perfectly valid. “If you notice yourself becoming apathetic, yet you care about this person, but their life updates no longer feel relevant to you, and you don’t engage as much, that could also be a sign,” says Danielle Bayard Jackson, a friendship educator and author of “Fighting for our Friendships.”

Conversely, the relationship might feel tense if you find yourself often clashing or feeling like you’re tiptoeing around the friend. Spoiler alert: the tension is likely to break.

“This hint indicates that the friendship might be out of sync and that you may have outgrown it,” points out T.M. Robinson-Mosley, a counseling psychologist, “especially if conflicts escalate into personal attacks.”

Ending a Friendship Doesn’t Equal Failure

Measuring a friendship by its duration or the fact that it didn’t last indefinitely isn’t the most useful way to evaluate these relationships. Should a successful friendship be eternal or should it be one filled with genuine affection during its time?

Experts suggest that friendship networks also shift and evolve over time. Research indicates that we usually replace about half of our friends every seven years.

“Our availability changes, and what connected us can vary. Thus, it’s essential to anticipate that transition,” states Jackson.

Why does this happen? Consider it in terms of life phases. Did you form friendships in college, at work or during parenting classes? Changes in friendships are common as individuals reach their mid-20s when their priorities diverge – especially once the haze of early adulthood begins to clear.

Is Your Friendship Worth Preserving?

Typically, as long as there isn’t any kind of toxic behavior or abuse involved, it’s wise to keep the friendship door slightly ajar.

It can be tempting to view friendship through a strictly black-and-white lens based on what you see on TikTok: feeling “wronged” by someone may persuade you to establish “boundaries.” However, don’t let that mindset push you away from all friendships.

But why do some reach that conclusion? “I believe it might stem from a desire for control,” says Jackson.

Yet if leaving a friendship allows you to be more authentic to yourself, it’s probably a breakup worth pursuing.