The surgeon general has issued a new public health advisory, highlighting that parenting poses a significant risk to mental health, rather than the usual culprits like tobacco or alcohol.

According to the Office of the Surgeon General, 40% of parents report feeling so stressed most days that they struggle to function. Nearly half describe this stress as “overwhelming.”

This alarming information is part of a 35-page report, published in late August, which identifies parental stress as a pressing public health concern. The report utilizes data from the American Psychological Association and various other sources to substantiate that parents today are experiencing unprecedented levels of stress.

A survey indicated that one-third of parents with children under 18 rate their stress at 8 or higher on a scale of 10. Additionally, 40% feel “numb” due to stress, while 60% struggle to concentrate. A staggering two-thirds are preoccupied with financial concerns.

In all these areas, parents report significantly higher stress levels compared to those without children.

“Our stress levels are probably ten times higher,” stated Sara Barron, 35, a mother of three living near Sacramento, California, when comparing her situation to that of her friends who do not have kids. “They can easily go out for drinks or parties without worrying about finding a babysitter.”

‘This is the Alert We All Needed’

Advocates for parents and childcare are commending the surgeon general’s initiative to highlight the pressures faced by modern parents.

“This is the alert we all required,” expressed Gretchen Salyer, founder and CEO of June Care, a service connecting parents for childcare support. “Consider the ripple effects on the children. If parents are unable to cope, how can we expect the youth mental health crisis to improve?”

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, who has two children, shared a personal perspective in the advisory, calling parenting “the most challenging and gratifying job I’ve ever undertaken.”

The report presents data-backed insights into the main sources of stress for parents.

Rising Costs of Child Care

According to estimates from the White House, child care expenses have surged by 26% over the past ten years.

Families that pay for childcare typically spend around $325 a week, amounting to 18.6% of their weekly income, based on a recent analysis by LendingTree, a personal finance platform. Another study from Care.com reveals that families spend about 24% of their income on childcare, both figures exceeding federal standards for affordable childcare.

“It is clear that childcare is far more expensive now compared to previous generations,” noted Matt Schulz, chief credit analyst at LendingTree. “Many couples grapple with whether it’s worth it to seek additional employment due to childcare costs.”

Parents Juggle More Responsibilities

The surgeon general’s report indicates that modern parents face significantly more demands on their time compared to earlier generations.

Federal data shows that the average parent works about 33.5 hours a week, which includes job-related activities.

Both mothers and fathers are logging more work hours: mothers’ average weekly hours increased from 20.9 in 1985 to 26.7 in 2022, while fathers’ hours went from 39.8 to 41.2 during the same period.

Parents are also dedicating more time to caring for their kids. In 2022, mothers spent an average of 11.8 hours per week on childcare, up from 8.4 in 1985. For fathers, weekly childcare hours rose from 2.6 to 6.6.

The federal report also highlights numerous stressors affecting parents. For instance, nearly three-quarters worry about their children’s potential struggles with anxiety or depression in light of the ongoing youth mental health crisis. Concerns about school shootings or the risk thereof affect 74% of parents. Additionally, two-thirds experience feelings of loneliness.

Technology as a Parenting Obstacle

Technology poses a significant challenge for parents today. Approximately 70% believe that parenting has become more challenging over the past 20 years, largely due to social media.

Platforms like TikTok, Snapchat, and Instagram have been blamed for dominating children’s attention, isolating them from family and friends, and either causing or exacerbating mental health issues.

For many struggling parents, the COVID pandemic presented both challenges and unexpected support, providing a complicated landscape for today’s child-rearing.

The shift to remote work allowed countless parents to operate from home, resulting in increased flexibility regarding childcare choices.

However, the pandemic led to the closure of many childcare facilities, causing ongoing shortages in various parts of the country.

“We’re witnessing a decline in the number of daycares,” stated Sean Lacey, the child care general manager at Care.com. “This results in greater scarcity and longer waiting lists for parents eager to enroll their children in daycare.”

Barron, a mother from Sacramento, gave birth to her third child right as the pandemic began.

“Childcare wasn’t available at that time because everything was shut down,” she explained. “When he finally could start daycare, it cost $3,000 a month,” which was almost as high as their mortgage payment.

“I found myself contemplating a career downgrade after dedicating 15 to 20 years to build it, solely due to childcare issues,” she noted.

Americans are delaying parenthood or choosing not to have children

The well-known challenges of contemporary parenting have led many young Americans to rethink their decisions about becoming parents.

According to federal data, America’s fertility rate has dropped to a record low. More women are opting to have children in their 30s, if they choose to have children at all.

Researchers believe that job-related concerns, a lack of childcare options, insufficient parental leave policies, and the high costs of raising children are contributing to the decline in birth rates.

“People are realizing the significant expenses involved and the lifestyle changes required, which can be intimidating,” explained Scarlett Xu, 37, from San Diego.

Xu chose to wait until her mid-30s to welcome her first child, who is now nearly two years old.

“I wanted to be sure that I was financially secure,” she added.

What actions can policymakers take to assist stressed parents?

The surgeon general’s report suggests several policy measures that federal and local governments could implement to support overwhelmed parents. These include:

• Enhancing and increasing funding for programs like Head Start and Healthy Start to assist parents with early education and healthcare needs.
• Creating a nationwide paid family and medical leave program.
• Investing in social infrastructure that encourages interaction among parents and caregivers, such as community parks and programs.
• Ensuring that parents and caregivers have access to affordable, top-quality mental health services.