Anna Kendrick has been open about her experience in an emotionally and psychologically damaging relationship and the impact it has had on her life. In a recent discussion with The Independent, she revealed that she found herself sharing her experiences with strangers in the aftermath.

“It’s a true story that after this deeply traumatic relationship, I was talking to my plumber, who asked how I was, and I just spilled everything to him,” Kendrick shared. “I felt like I couldn’t live another moment being dishonest.”

While expressing your trauma can be essential to healing, the context is critical. The audience and environment can make a significant difference, and sometimes, issues may follow as a result.

Kendrick’s story resonates with many who have faced similar struggles in their lives.

Carla Manly, a clinical psychologist and author of “Joy from Fear,” previously stated that “You might find yourself at a party, and suddenly, you’re recounting a terrible date that triggers memories of childhood molestation.” Manly highlights that issues arise when significant personal experiences are shared “without consent, in the wrong time and place, and with someone who might not be prepared to handle it.”

Unlike simply venting, trauma dumping happens in a “spontaneous and unwelcomed manner, where someone unloads their traumatic thoughts and feelings onto an unsuspecting individual,” whether it’s a friend or a stranger.

“We often feel a lot of built-up frustration and anger, and we just need a safe space to let it out,” Manly noted.

Understanding trauma dumping

Reflecting on her troubled relationship, Kendrick shared, “It genuinely feels as if something has been taken from me.” She explained that getting caught in the cycle of trying to improve the relationship meant she lost parts of herself along the way.

Many individuals engage in trauma dumping without even being aware of it. Psychiatrists like Judith Orloff, author of “The Empath Survival Guide,” have stated that victims of trauma often use this as a coping strategy.

“They might unconsciously express their anxiety by venting to someone else, thinking it will ease their frustration and release that pent-up energy,” she explains.

There is a crucial distinction between regular venting and trauma dumping. Experts warn that trauma dumping can be “harmful” and “toxic,” as it often disregards the listener’s consent and focuses solely on the person sharing their experiences.

‘Supportive communication has its limits’

It’s essential for people to feel at ease sharing their frustrations with friends or even strangers when it’s appropriate, yet certain discussions are better suited for therapy settings.

Through therapy, Kendrick was eventually able to recognize the reality of her abusive past. Though she kept details vague, a significant moment for her was discovering definitive proof that her partner was gaslighting her, which she eventually shared with various friends.

Others may find it beneficial to discuss their feelings on platforms like TikTok in a more humorous light.

“Coping with traumatic experiences is personal,” said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “Expressing one’s story and feeling acknowledged can be incredibly healing. Finding humor in difficult situations is valid, as long as it doesn’t involve evasion of genuine feelings.”

However, Manly points out, “Not everyone is equipped to handle another person’s trauma, particularly if they have their stressors to handle.”

According to Orloff, individuals who are on the receiving end of trauma dumping often end up feeling anxious, drained, or overwhelmed after the encounter.

“While someone may feel relief after trauma dumping, the person they share it with could feel terrible,” she observes. “They typically feel exhausted after receiving a flood of heavy information.”

Experts advise setting boundaries with individuals who frequently engage in trauma dumping. It’s crucial to maintain your own peace, even while showing care for others.