I have experience working at several mental health organizations, including the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, the 988 Lifeline, the Crisis Text Line, and Active Minds, as well as participating in research focused on preventing suicide among adolescents. The term “suicide” has never been off-limits.

However, it is now often referred to in a more subtle way, particularly highlighted by discussions surrounding Kurt Cobain’s passing.

Recently, a social media user shared an image from the Nirvana exhibit at the Museum of Pop Culture (MoPop) in Seattle, where a sign linked to the “27 Club” stated, “Kurt Cobain un-alived himself at 27.”

This tweet has garnered 5.9 million views, and the backlash against the MoPop’s choice of words has been nearly unanimous, with many users labeling the term “unalive” as “tacky” and “disrespectful” toward Cobain’s battle with mental health issues. The museum has not yet responded to YSL News’s request for comment.

But what is the origin of the term “unalive,” and does it negatively impact suicide discussions? Experts and mental health advocates argue that the choice of language surrounding suicide is significant. While there are contexts where “unalive” might be useful, it should not substitute for the word “suicide.”

Dr. Ken Duckworth, the Chief Medical Officer of the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), emphasizes the need to recognize the evolving nature of language in mental health discussions, while prioritizing safe and respectful dialogue about suicide.

“This is uncharted territory,” he remarks.

The term ‘unalive’ emerged due to censorship surrounding the word ‘suicide’

“Unalive” is a euphemism for death by suicide or homicide, which gained popularity on social media platforms as a workaround for algorithms that censor discussions involving explicit content, including the terms “suicide,” “kill,” and “murder.”

Efe Osagie, a 24-year-old digital organizer and youth mental health advocate affiliated with NAMI, explains that “unalive” can be seen as a creative way for people to discuss their challenges in online spaces without worrying about their posts being flagged or removed. In such situations, using “unalive” can be a practical approach to facilitate conversations about mental health while evading censorship.

Deborah Tannen, a linguistics professor at Georgetown University, notes that people often resist new words or phrases, yet language is meant to evolve continuously.

“Generally, it’s younger people who adopt and often create new terminology,” Tannen explains. “Older generations may find this frustrating because their associations with language differ from those who are pioneering it.”

However, the avoidance of certain words can lead to negative connotations. “If a word is deemed unspeakable, it becomes untouchable,” Tannen adds.

As language born in digital settings to bypass censorship makes its way into everyday usage, there is a danger of creating the impression that “suicide” is a rude term.

Avoiding the term ‘suicide’ can inadvertently escalate mental health stigma

Dr. Jill Harkavy-Friedman, Senior Vice President of Research at the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, states that discussions surrounding suicide should be comparable to those about other health issues.

Just like one would say someone “died of cancer,” “suicide” and “died by suicide” provide clear terms that hold specific meanings.

“Using terms like ‘unalive’ instead of ‘died by suicide’ can negatively influence suicide prevention efforts,” she notes. “One unintended effect of substituting the word ‘suicide’ may be that it implies individuals need to hide their feelings about it or feel ashamed, which is far from ideal since no one should experience shame over their situation.”

Claire Bradley, a 22-year-old advocate for mental health and inclusion and a NAMI Next Gen advisor, warns that using “unalive” in informative contexts undermines efforts to destigmatize conversations about suicide.

“I can easily see someone thinking they are using the most appropriate term by saying ‘unalive’ if they simply aren’t aware of what the correct terminology is,” Bradley emphasizes, highlighting the critical need for responsible communication regarding suicide.

“When discussing suicide, the language chosen can vary significantly, reflecting individual, cultural, and situational differences that call for sensitivity and awareness,” says Dr. Shairi Turner, Chief Health Officer at the Crisis Text Line. “Best practices suggest using clear and direct language, not shying away from the term ‘suicide,’ as research indicates that using it does not heighten the risk of suicidal thoughts.”

It risks trivializing suicide

Context is critical when addressing suicide, and according to Osagie, she often encounters the term “unalive” in a joking context.

Making jokes about suicide or speaking in coded language can be hurtful for individuals who are grappling with suicidal thoughts or have lost someone to suicide, according to Harkavy-Friedman.

“Using ‘unalive’ instead of ‘suicide’ risks making light of this serious matter,” she warns.

Bradley points out that “unalive” often conveys a lack of seriousness and can reflect frustration.

Osagie expresses concern over these vague boundaries.

“When we rely on terms other than ‘suicide,’ it becomes challenging to assess whether someone is in real danger or has the intent to harm themselves,” she explains.

Discussing suicide is an aspect of suicide prevention

Reflecting on my training as a certified crisis counselor at the Crisis Text Line, one message resonates strongly: It’s perfectly acceptable to directly inquire about suicidal thoughts. In fact, doing so is a vital part of suicide prevention.

Duckworth states that all medical professionals are taught to inquire about suicide directly, and families are urged to have open discussions with their loved ones about it as well. While the term “unalive” might not carry a negative intention, it can ultimately hinder crucial discussions on the topic of suicide.

“The worry is that using this term might make someone dealing with suicidal thoughts feel ashamed or embarrassed about their feelings if conversations aren’t happening in a straightforward way,” Harkavy-Friedman explains. “It’s essential to have these conversations and understand that you are not the only one experiencing this.”

Suicide Lifeline: If you or someone you know is grappling with suicidal thoughts, you can reach out to the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline by calling 988, any time of day or night, or engage in a chat online.

Crisis Text Line offers free, round-the-clock, confidential support through text to those in crisis when they type “HOME” and send it to 741741.